


Infinity On High

by Incadence



Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Misunderstandings and feelings, fuck buddies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-14
Updated: 2015-05-09
Packaged: 2018-03-07 13:32:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3174990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Incadence/pseuds/Incadence
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For his first year of university, Jeongkook expects sex. If he was honest with himself, it's one of the things he looked forward to.</p><p>What he doesn't expect, is to become fuck buddies with the first person he hooks up with.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title is based on a Fall Out Boy album ;u;

For his first year of university, Jeongkook expects sex. If he was honest with himself, it's one of the things he looked forward to.

What he doesn't expect, is to become fuck buddies with the first person he hooks up with.

It starts at a party that Namjoon drags him to, a week after university starts. One with dancing bodies, packed thick into a house and music pounding from the speakers and _free alcohol_. Jeongguk is ecstatic.

It's probably his own fault, but Jeongguk wants to blame it on the alcohol. It makes that gentle, hazy fire burn under his skin, slow but demanding. Namjoon wasn't at his side anymore, he lost him somewhere between the second drink and Jeongguk is honestly feeling a little lonely, fingers tapping against the edge of the table as his eyes roam over the dance floor. Bodies packed tight, bare skin flashing under the lights, covered by the glistening sheen of sweat. Jeongguk swipes his tongue to wet his lips, and he can't ignore the heat simmering under his stomach.

It's not long when he sees him. He doesn't stand out too much, not bright and flashy like the girl’s shimmering dresses, but there's no denying that he's beautiful. His movements are sure and fluid, hips rolling like the steady stream of water. Denim stretches over strong thighs, and Jeongguk traces the curves of his body, from the span of shoulders, to the glistening skin on his neck before moving up to his face. He's smiling, sweet and seductive and sure, eyes lidded with dark eyeliner, lips a dark red.

He catches Jeongguk staring, and flashes just the hint of teeth. It's easy after that.

He lets Jeongguk weave through the bodies. He lets Jeongguk wrap his fingers around his waist, pulling their chests flush against each other. He lets Jeongguk pull him close enough to smell the intoxicating tang of cologne, and lets him grind their hips together, rushed and heady and Jeongguk watches him gasp,the fire in his stomach _burns_. And when Jeongguk wraps fingers around his chin, he lets Jeongguk drag him into a kiss that's messy, and hot and wet. Tongues and teeth and soft nips and breathy gasps.

"Yeah." The boy mutters. "We should do more of that." His voice, a gentle scrape along his neck.

And Jungkook doesn't complain, still dizzy on the taste of the boy's lips against his. So, he follows along as the boy drags him up into one the rooms.

His first hook-up of the year is on a scratchy, pink blanket. Jeongguk vaguely wonders how anyone could sleep on that thing, but the thought completely veers off into strings of curses when the boy drags him into another heady kiss and shoves a hand down his pants.

"What's your name?" The boy rasps when their clothes are a mess on the floor and Jeongguk really doesn't think it's a good question to ask when you have two fingers up someone's ass, but oh well.

"Jeongguk." he gasps, the word soon trailing off into a litany of moans.

"I'm Taehyung." the boy smiles, as his fingers curve, finding Jeongguk's prostate, making his back arch with a drawn out moan. "Nice to meet you."

That's the name Jeongguk moans out as Taehyung fucks him hard into the mattress, hands gripping his hips hard enough to bruise, nails digging into his skin. And when Taehyung leans over to fist his cock, messy and fast, it's not long before Jeongguk comes with a drawn out groan, trails of Taehyung's name falling from his lips.

Taehyung comes soon after and Jeongguk watches as his neck arches back, gasping out a soft, breathy moan. Afterwards, when Taehyung pulls out, Jeongguk almost expects him to leave right there and then.

But he doesn't and gently mouths at Jeongguk's chin, an arm slung across his chest. "So, Jeongguk." Taehyung mumbles against his skin, eyelashes curving down to his cheek. "We should do this again." Jeongguk can feel him smile as he nips lazily at his chin.

In retrospect, it probably wasn't a good idea. But, Taehyung's mouth is so wet and hot, and Jeongguk kind of already misses those hands on him.

"Mm." Jeongguk agrees dazedly.

Taehyung seems content with that, and Jeongguk arches his neck as his lips leave a trail of wet biting kisses down the smooth expanse of his neck, fingers pressed against his collarbones, thumbing at his cheek. Jeongguk can feel himself getting hard again, and reaches to tangle his fingers in Taehyung's hair, and is totally ready to go a second round- until he hears Taehyung laugh and the wet heat of his mouth is gone, and Jeongguk almost whines. Almost.

Jeongguk watches as Taehyung moves away, leaning down to scramble for his clothes, a hand reaching into his pant pocket to pluck out his phone, fingers flitting across the screen as Jeongguk says his number.

“I’ll call you.” Taehyung says as he pulls on his hoodie and with a sweet kiss to his cheek and a blinding smile he's out the door, leaving Jeongguk naked, legs sprawled and still half hard.

He almost feels a little sad, until he remembers the number he left.

Jeongguk stares at his phone for a while, and wonders if he'll call.

~~

Jeongguk doesn't actually expect Taehyung to call. It was just a hook-up really. They both got what they wanted; it was just casual, mind blowing sex.

And if he did jerk off to a pretty boy with eyeliner and light hair a few times, well, nobody will really know.

So when Jeongguk gets a call a week later in the late afternoon, it's surprising to say the least. He doesn't expect it to be Taehyung and when he hears a smooth and scarily familiar hello, he almost drops the phone.

"You okay there?" his voice is smooth and deep, and oh god Jeongguk _remembers_.

"Um yeah." Jeongguk says, clutching the phone to his ear. "I just wasn't expecting you to call."

"I said I would didn't I?" Taehyung says, and Jeongguk doesn't know how he does it, but his voice drops and it makes Jeongguk clutch the phone closer, heart hammering in his chest, loud in his ears.

"Yeah." Jeongguk breathes. "What do you want?"

He hears Taehyung laugh. It's a sweet sound. "Let's get coffee." he says.

"Okay?" Jeongguk says. He doesn't exactly want coffee, but he doesn't say that.

~~

Spoiler: They don't actually end up getting coffee.

Jeongguk arrives at Taehyung's dorm an hour later, and when Taehyung opens the door, hair a mess, an oversized t shirt slipping past his shoulder, collarbones peeking out from the hem; the words Jeongguk were about to say, get lost somewhere along dirty thoughts and the curve of Taehyung's jaw.

"Um." Jeongguk says intelligently.

"Hey." Taehyung says, and his eyes curve when he smiles. "Come in." Jeongkook doesn't miss the way his eyes scrape down his body with something akin to want.

The second Jeongguk steps in, Taehyung has his hands on him, pushing him against the door as it slams shut, kissing him fast and deep, fingers shoving under his shirt, tongue pushing into his mouth. Jeongguk can only moan and give in, curling his fingers in Taehyung's hair, and god it's only been a week but he has missed this.

"Oh fuck you're so..." Taehyung mutters between open mouthed kisses as Jeongguk shucks off his shirt, Taehyung stares unabashedly before leaning in to mouth biting kisses across his chest, Jeongguk's skin flushing a bright red as Taehyung's teeth scrape up, across his collarbones, down to his torso and then sinking down to his knees.

"Fuck." Jeongguk breathes, as Taehyung palms his crotch, before shucking his jeans into a crinkling mess at his knees. It's a bit uncomfortable but Jeongguk soon forgets, because then Taehyung's mouth is on him, and it's hot and wet and if not for Taehyung pushing him into the door, his knees may have buckled.

Jeongguk's hands tremble as they wrap around Taehyung's hair, hips jerking slightly as Taehyung sucks him off, deep and dirty, and when Jeongguk leans down to watch, Taehyung's cheeks are hollowed, red dusting his cheeks, and he has his boxers shucked down, fucking himself into his own hand.

And that sight enough is for Jeongguk to gasp, fingers clenching tightly in his hair. 'I'm.. your mouth, 'm going to come." he gasps. And soon, Jeongguk does, with a sharp groan, fingers tight, legs trembling. Taehyung swallows it all in one smooth move, and Jeongguk watches through sated eyelids as his adams apple bobs.

Taehyung still hasn't come yet, so Jeongguk leans down to push Taehyung to the floor, replacing his hand with his own, and jerking him off, messy and rushed and sloppy, and Taehyung comes with a broken thrust of his hips and teeth biting into his shoulder.

They lie there for a while, before Taehyung gives his shoulder a soft shove and with a groan, Jeongguk gets up, knees pressed against either side of Taehyung, who stares up at him with a slow,sleepy smile. "I thought we were getting coffee." Jeongguk says.

"Yeah?" Taehyung grins. "I like this better."

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. "What is ‘this’? Is it a thing now?"

"It's whatever you want it to be." And his voice is dirty and dark, practically dripping with sex.

"So," Jeongguk says as he hovers over Taehyung. "We're fucking now?"

"I hope so." Taehyung says as he pulls Jeongguk closer, until their noses are brushing. "Because, now I want to ride you."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But the thing is, trying to control sex is like trying to grab at water like it's a solid thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, i'm really sorry for not updating in a while. I needed time to firstly mull over the characters, rewrite the chapter and revise it a few times. uwu so i hope you guys are satisfied with this! I might come back and revise this in the future, since the edges are still a little raw. ;u;
> 
> And, thank you to [nicrt](http://writingaboutboys.tumblr.com/) for being such a babe and being an awesome beta and discussing ideas for this! I l y

****

It’s sex in it's purest form, and Jeongguk loves it.

It’s easy to crave it. To love it; to constantly want skin under lips, to want to feel that heat spread until it makes toes curl, hips arch and give  white-hot release. Jeongguk doesn't want anything except to satisfy it. Taehyung was perfect for that, a fun little thing. Wild and flighty and hot, with a tongue and hands that can turn Jeongguk into a shivering mess on the sheets.

It should be a perfect arrangement; taking what he wants, giving when he wants to. Like an extracurricular activity, something to release tension with. Just like others would read a book or go out running, Jeongguk would fuck. It'll be something easy, something he could control to his needs. A small fire cupped in the safety of his hands.

But the thing is, trying to control sex is like trying to grab at water like it's a solid thing.

Their booty calls or whatever they have starts off small. A phone call once a week that leads to Taehyung spreading him out on the mattress, swallowing his moans with his lips. And then two, three, four times a week. Until Taehyung is a constant on his mind. The taste of him lingering in his mouth, bruises dark and red on his skin, a reminder of what was and what’s to come.

It gets bad enough that his mind becomes a hazy mess, only able to focus on the hours until he could have Taehyung  under him. Plaguing his mind until all he think about is smooth skin and red lips, firm  bodies and the slight curl of arousal burning under his skin.

It gets to the point where Jeongguk starts to zone out during lectures. It's only then Jeongguk thinks that their little arrangement is getting a bit  out of hand.

So to the best of his ability,  he tries to push all thoughts of Taehyung away. Instead,he  focuses on the lecture and tells himself to cut the fucking to a decent amount.

But there's just something about Taehyung that's just hard to resist. And when Jeongguk gets home to a text from Taehyung , _babe, call me_. Jeongguk gives a sad look at the stack of papers stuffed in his bag and with a depleted sigh dials him.

While he listens to the ringtone, he tells himself he’s got this. _Cut the fucking to the decent amount!_ These few words play in his head over and over again. If Taehyung asks for another booty call, he’ll just say no. Easy as that-

"Hey babe." A smooth drawl sounds from the phone. And just like that, Jeongguk hands stutter against his ear. It really should be embarrassing how someone he’s only met a couple of weeks ago can have an effect on him like that. But it’s not his fault his brain has started to automatically associate Taehyung with sex now.

“Hey.”  The word comes out raw and dry, Jeongguk clears his throat. "Um yeah Hi."

"What are you doing?" Taehyung says.

 _Homework._ Jeongguk should say. Instead he mumbles out a "Nothing, I'm in my dorm."

Taehyung laughs, and his voice drops lower, suggestive and lithe. "Do you want company?"

 _No._ Jeongguk thinks as he stares down at the piles of assignments stacked on his table. "Yeah, sure if you're not too busy." He says instead. God Dammit.

He hears Taehyung laugh again, loud and genuine. "You're cute. I'm never too busy for you, gorgeous." The words rolls off his tongue like they belong there. Smooth and sultry, like they weren't meant for only Jeongguk.

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. "You're ridiculous."

"I can still come over though right?" Taehyung says.

".... Yeah." Jeongguk's always had shitty self control.

"I'll see you in 20."

With a sigh, he takes one of the pieces of homework from his AP literature class. Maybe, he could do some work before Taehyung comes. He gives up soon after.  I mean, how are you supposed to focus on a Textual analysis when there’s a constant reminder that he gets to have Taehyung in  just a matter of minutes?

With a sigh, Jeongguk discards his notes and collapses onto his nearby bed. And tells himself that, although he's staring at the door, legs dangling off the side of his bed. He's not waiting for Taehyung like some sad puppy.  Because, well, Taehyung isn't someone you wait for.

Taehyung arrives 17 minutes later with the sound of a sharp knock. Jeongguk quickly scrambles up and with a quick hand through his hair, he gets the door.

"Hey." He breathes. Taehyung has his hands shoved in his pockets, brightening as the door opens. Jeongguk's fingers itch at his side, anticipating.  Already, he wants to wrap his fingers around Taehyung’s  neck and just _take_. He doesn't though, not yet anyway.

"Hey." Taehyung says with a sharp grin, the door closing behind him with a click. He steps close enough for Jeongguk to be able to count the number of eyelashes fanning down to his cheek. His fingers twitch at his side.

"Oh, we can actually see the floor this time." Taehyung grins, cat-like and teasing. "We're not going to trip on anything." His breath ghosts Jeongguk's cheek, gentle and warm.

"That... was your fault." Jeongguk says, with a huff. "You weren't looking at where you were going."

Taehyung smiles, eyes darkening as fingers curl around the edge of Jeongguk's t-shirt. He pulls him close.

Just like the flick of a switch, Jeongguk's perception completely changes. From gentle, almost friendly bantering to something darker and far more dangerous. "I was too distracted by something else." Taehyung breathes into the space between their lips.

Jeongguk grins, heat coiling underneath his skin. Unspoken words tangle in his throat, messy with want; so instead he translates them into actions, dragging out a kiss against Taehyung's lips.

It's too chaste at first, but just like a harsh give and take, Jeongguk gently skims his fingers over Taehyung’s lips, opening them before sliding  his tongue in, wet and hot like it's meant to be.

They tangle onto the bed, in a mess of tongue and teeth and limbs. It's lazy, but in no way less desperate than the times before. It's still a little fast. One last quick graze of lips before Taehyung is shucking off his shirt, pushing Jeongguk into the bed with harsh fingers.

It's a haze of fingers against skin. Jeongguk rolls his hips against the weight of Taehyung above him, fingers digging into his shoulder. Moans tangle between their mouths, as Taehyung braces one hand on the headboard, the other hand wrapped around both their cocks.

It's pleasure so dizzying that Jeongguk doesn't think; and for one second, he forgets, leaning  in to mouth at Taehyung's neck. Through lidded eyes, Taehyung  drags Jeongguk's neck back with gentle fingers. "No... no marks." Taehyung gasps, scrunching his eyes shut in pleasure.

"Sorry." Jeongguk mumbles, letting his head fall back onto the pillow. He almost feels bad, until Taehyung's fingers skim roughly over the head of his cock, making him gasp.

"S'okay." Taehyung breathes, as he comes against Jeongguk's chest with a sharp groan. Jeongguk comes soon after with hips arching from the sheets as Taehyung's slick fingers drag out his orgasm.

Afterwards, Jeongguk sinks down into the mattress with a sated sigh. Taehyung smiles down at him before falling onto the bed with a tired groan.

"You're doing the work next time." Taehyung mumbles into the pillow. "My hand hurts."

"I just had classes asshole." Jeongguk says through closed eyes as Taehyung curls up against him, a leg sprawled carelessly over his. Jeongguk shifts slightly, but doesn't shove him off. It's not that he hates post-coital cuddles.  It's just that cuddling with Taehyung seems too... intimate or something.

"Hey." Taehyung mumbles against his neck. "Sorry about before."

Jeongguk's eyes flutter open at that. "Huh, what- Oh. Nah don't worry about it." The words taste dry and awkward on his tongue.

"Yeah, it's just..." Taehyung hesitates.

"It's okay I get it. _" I don't want to talk about this anymore._

Jeongguk shrugs as Taehyung moves closer, the warmth  of his skin almost suffocating. They never did talk explicitly what _this_ was, but Jeongguk already understands it well enough. You're allowed to take, but not what isn't yours. Taehyung doesn't belong to Jeongguk.

Jeongguk touches the marks that Taehyung left across his shoulders. He wonders what those mean.

"Hey, hey." Taehyung prods Jeongguk's leg with his foot.

"Ow." Jeongguk says with a wrinkle of his nose. "Do you even cut your toenails?"

Taehyung laughs. “Are you free on Friday? I'll make it up to you."

 _Make up what?_ Jeongguk wants to ask. Instead he says. "I have work." It's not an exact  no.

"When do you get off?"

Jeongguk frowns. "I've got a shitton of homework I haven't done thanks to you."

Taehyung pouts. "I'll blow you?"

Jeongguk contemplates that for a second before giving in with a "Fine." Damn Taehyung and his phenomenal mouth. "I get off at 7."

He feels Taehyung smile against his back as fatigue starts to blur at the edges of Jeongguk's vision. A nap suddenly seems very appealing. The warmth of the sheets and the sated ache of his muscles gently lull him into closing his eyes. The last thing he sees is Taehyung shifting next to him, leaning over to grab his clothes.

When Jeongguk wakes up, the bed is cold. The only memory of Taehyung is the vague smell of sex still hanging in the air.

-

In retrospect, Jeongguk probably should have told his friends  he got a fuck buddy. Considering he's spacing out more often than not of late.

"Jeongguk? Yo, earth to Jeongguk." Jeongguk blinks as fingers click in front of his face.

"Huh?" Jeongguk says.

"You okay?" Namjoon says with a raised eyebrow.

Jimin grins cheekily, eyes disappearing into little crescents. "He's totally thinking about porn."

"Am not." Jeongguk says, swatting Jimin with the heel of his hand.  But then again he did scrape close to the truth. 

"What were you guys talking about?" Jeongguk grins as Jimin rubs his cheek with a whine.

"Hooks!" Jimin pipes up, an almost challenging glint in his eye.

Namjoon rolls his eyes. "Jimin claims he's the ultimate slayer."

"Jimin? Oh god no, no , no, no, no." Jeongguk laughs,  snorting  so hard he gets a little dizzy.

"Five no's is a little excessive. And hey, if you happen to know-"

"No one wants to hear about your sex life Jimin."Namjoon puts a finger to Jimin's mouth, effectively blocking him from spouting out any facts that Jeongguk would happily live the rest of his life not knowing.

Jeongguk agrees in relish. "I'll rather stab my eyeball with a fork. Besides, your moans sound like a dying fish."

Jeongguk grins smugly  when Jimin cheeks turn a heated, dark red.

"What about Namjoon then?" Jimin sputters, trying to divert the attention away from him. Jeongguk turns to Namjoon with a curious squint, who merely smiles pleasantly. And on a second thought, Jeongguk doesn't even want to know. Namjoon's sex life had always been a little more than secretive, and Jeongguk would really rather keep it that way.

"Ah, but our little maknae though." Namjoon's grin is slow and sly. "You have boys and girls alike gravitating around your crotch."

Jimin laughs. "Didn't you do it in the toilets in high school?"

Jeongguk face twists into disgust. "Ew, what the fuck that's unsanitary."

Namjoon mumbles something under his breath along the line of toilets and involving something that Jimin and Jeongguk both choose to not hear. For the sake of their sanity.

"So." Jimin's eyes are wide as he juts his face right into Jeongguk's personal space. "Any hooks?"

With a wrinkle of his nose, Jimin is shoved back.  "A few." Jeongguk shrugs. Few meaning, Taehyung, Taehyung and Taehyung. But they don't have to know that.

Namjoon raises an eyebrow at that. "Damn, dude." His face lights up suddenly. "Oh I do recall you disappearing into one of the rooms during that party I took you to!”

Jimin narrows his eyes at Jeongguk. "What the hell, wasn't that in the first few days of university? You're fast."

Jeongguk grins. "Unlike you, I'm the opposite of fast. That's why I get them so quick."

"Yah! You brat-"

Namjoon sighs. "Girls, girls, please calm down." He regards Jeongguk with a stare followed by a teasing stare. "Was it good? Anyone we know?"

Jimin nods. "Rule one. Don't fuck anyone you even vaguely know. All it ends up in, is hiding in weird corners of the uni." Jeongguk raises a confused eyebrow at that.

Namjoon grins, a dimple appearing in the corner of his mouth. "Said from personal experience."

"He was fucking crazy. How was I supposed to know?"

"Stop thinking with your dick, dude." Jeongguk says with a shake of his head.

"Ah I remember freshman year, Jimin literally-" Namjoon starts.

"Guy stop please." Jimin cuts him off with a small whimper, burrowing his face in his hands.

Jeongguk laughs at Jimin’s misfortune, before turning to Namjoon with a shake of his head. “He’s not anyone we know, I think. But yeah, he was..." Jeongguk trails off, mind flitting back to the very first night. Unfamilar touches and a great fuck spurred by the thrum of alcohol.

"That good huh?" Namjoon laughs, kicking Jeongguk in the shin, making him snap back into reality. 

Jimin squints at him. "Did you even get his name or did you just slip your dick in?"

"Hey, I did dumbass." Jeongguk says, and when he is met with expectant looks, he adds, "His name's Taehyung,you guys probably don't know him." And if Jeongguk was expecting a reaction, he definitely wasn't expecting long seconds of astounded silence. Jeongguk frowns at both of his friends as they stare with open mouths.

"Like Taehyung? Kim Taehyung?" Namjoon asks quietly.

“Yeah?" Jeongguk asks, head tilting in confusion. "What about him?" He's met with wide eyes and silence.

Jimin is the first to speak.

"YOU FUCKED KIM FUCKING TAEHYUNG?" He screeches loud enough that a few heads turn their away.

"Can you be any louder?" Jeongguk hisses. "I'm pretty sure, people from, I don't know Australia heard that, jeez."

Jimin quietens down a little. "Are you actually telling me you fucked Taehyung in the first week of freshman year?"

"Um," Jeongguk says weakly. "You guys know him?"

Jimin sits back into his seat with a sharp sigh. "Who doesn't know him?" That only makes Jeongguk eyebrows furrow in confusion.

In the past few seconds, Namjoon had been sitting in his seat quietly, hands laced together in contemplation. "He's quite well known here." He says. When Jeongguk frowns at that, Namjoon continues. "Let's just say he gets around quickly."

"What?" Jeongguk says sharply. "So he's some man whore or something?"

"More or less" Namjoon shrugs. "Actually, more like everyone wants a piece of him. There's a lot of rumors surrounding that kid."

Jimin sighs sadly. "I can't believe you got to fuck Taehyung."

Namjoon nods. "He doesn't usually, with first years. He's pretty notorious for one night stands."

“Only one night stands?” Jeongguk says with a slight quirk of his lips.

"Wait.. wait." Jimin says. "You’re not telling me, you had sex again?"

Jeongguk shrugs.

"OH MY GOD." Jimin screeches. People are starting to throw them blatant  looks now. Jeongguk burrows his face into his hands with a sigh.

Jimin eyes him suspiciously. "You guys aren't dating right?"

Namjoon nods. "Jeongguk, Taehyung he-"

"No!" Jeongguk says, firm. "No, we're just having sex. It's no big deal."

Namjoon smiles, disapproving but gentle. "Okay. I just hope you know what you're doing. Involving yourself with someone like Taehyung isn't a good idea-"

"I know, we're just fooling around." His fingers skim over his collarbones, littered with marks from the previous night.

"Okay." Namjoon says, unconvinced.

When Jeongguk turns to look at Jimin, it surprises him that his friend's face is completely serious. Edging towards worry and open concern.

"Hey, he's not kidding. We've seen what Taehyung has done here. He's well..." Jimin worries at his lips with his teeth. "-broken more hearts than we can count."

"Look, he's not a relationship person." Namjoon adds.

"And since when was I one?" Jeongguk snaps, and both of them instantly quiet down. "I know you guys are concerned, but I can look after myself. We're just having sex. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“We just don’t want you to get hurt.” Namjoon says.

“I know. I know what I'm doing.” Jeongguk sighs, rubbing a hand to his forehead.

They both nod at that. Concern laces gently through their features but they don't pester any further. Taehyung drops from their conversation but still lingers on Jeongguk's mind.

He remembers last night, and the way Taehyung had looked at him as he pushed him away. _“No marks.”_ Firm words.

It's not like Jeongguk cares either way. He was here for sex, and Taehyung gives that better than anyone. Relationships were messy and fragile. Why would you want that when he could have what Taehyung can give?

Jimin's words sound in his ear again, clear and loud. _"He's broken more hearts than we can count."_ Jeongguk wants to laugh at that. How can Taehyung break his heart, when he won't even give it to him? It's a silly thought.

That night, Jeongguk thinks about desperate kisses, cold beds and great blowjobs.

-

Friday comes along with more assignments piled onto his desk  and a grueling 4 hours of work.  But Jeongguk can’t even bring himself to care. His skin buzzes slightly, anticipation edging under his nails; like his body already  knows he’s going to have Taehyung in just a matter of hours.

Work is boring as usual; lmost relaxing at times, when it’s just him, the store and his phone. He works as a cashier at a, local convenience store tucked away on a street near the edges of the campus. It’s not particularly busy, some people pop in now and then to get snacks or drinks. An easy job, not exactly the most exciting, but it gets him enough to scrape through.

Still, it's boring most of the time. So needless to say, when the skies began to darken and three packages of condoms find their way on the conveyer belt, Jeongguk smirks, looking up to meet familiar eyes slicked with dark eyeliner.

"I'll take these please!" Taehyung says brightly. "And, that." He adds pointing at Jeongguk with a slight grin, tongue flicking out to run over his lips.

Jeongguk rolls his eyes and squints at one of the packages. "Strawberry flavored condoms, Tae seriously?" The nickname slips out on it's own accord and Jeongguk stiffens. Taehyung doesn't seem to notice though.

"Aw, c'mon," he pouts cutely. "Or do you want mint instead? I had a hard time deciding so I think I'll get both." He frowns down at the packages, like deciding what flavored condoms to get is a life or death situation.

Jeongguk shakes his head, but can't wipe the amused grin from his face.

At first, Jeongguk would have thought that walking home with a person you’re having no strings attached sex with on a regular basis would be increasingly awkward. Especially with a flimsy plastic bag of condoms that keeps knocking against his leg as they walk. But to his surprise, it's actually not.

Taehyung personality is bright, and conversation flows with gentle ease. It's almost strange, seeing this part of Taehyung that's not associated with sex.  His words are light, not hot and suggestive like it usually is, dripping with want. And when he smiles, it isn't dark or teasing like the smirk Taehyung sometimes gives him when Jeongguk begs. It’s strange to think there is a Taehyung outside of the bedroom, one that Jeongguk has barely seen yet.

Jeongguk learns more about Taehyung in the mere minutes to his dorm, than he ever did learn between sheets and closed doors.

It's... nice.

"You're an engineering major?" Jeongguk asks, trying to conjure up a picture of Taehyung surrounded by heavy machinery. Considering, he did trip trying to back Jeongguk into the bed, he fails to imagine how that could be safe.

"Yeah, yeah. That's why we're always at your dorm. I'm worried that I might have accidently made a robot and it'll attack us during sex or something." Taehyung nods in all seriousness. It's the strangest sentence Jeongguk has ever heard.

Jeongguk stifles a laugh. "So during sex, that's what you're scared of?"

"It's happened before okay?" Taehyung mumbles quietly, which only makes Jeongguk laugh harder.

In the stillness of the night, it's almost easy to focus on the sound of Taehyung's voice and laughter, like they are easy friends. But when Jeongguk unlocks the door to his dorm and walks in, the illusion shatters.  Taehyung is on him in an instant, all lips and tongue and want.

"I've been wanting to do that all the way to here." Taehyung gasps into Jeongguk's mouth, kicking their clothes off as they fall onto the bed.

"You impatient shit." Jeongguk laughs, as Taehyung mouths at his neck. "You saw me like three days, ah- ago."

"I can't help myself." Taehyung murmurs, licking a stripe down Jeongguk's stomach, eliciting a sharp gasp. Jeongguk tangles his fingers in Taehyung's hair and drowns in the waves of pleasure. Just pleasure and nothing else.

"I'm going to fail college because of you." Jeongguk mutters afterwards, sated and sleepy. Taehyung is spooned against his back, limbs thrown carelessly over his.

"I'm sorry." Taehyung says, sounding not sorry at all. "Is my hotness distracting you?" He tucks his chin into the crook of Jeongguk's shoulder making Jeongguk squirm.

"Nah." Jeongguk says turning over to face Taehyung, blinking when he finds how close the other boy is. "I'm worried your weirdness is contagious."

Taehyung rolls onto his back to face the ceiling. "If it was, you would have caught it already." He murmurs, eyes fluttering shut.

In the breathy silent moments when it's just the sheets and Taehyung, Jeongguk stares.

Taehyung really was beautiful, Jeongguk thinks in a moment of detached appreciation. All firm muscle and gentle skin, red lips and messy hair. Taehyung's skin is smooth as silk, completely unmarked. It's a stark contrast to Jeongguk's skin, where bruises litter his stomach and chest, in varying shades of colours. Some red, others dark, some fading away.

It's an observation that leaves an unpleasant feeling unfurling in his chest.

"I have to go." Taehyung yawns suddenly, before turning to Jeongguk with a lazy grin.

"It's 10:30." Jeongguk answers.

"Yeah, I know." Taehyung says, as Jeongguk watches him lean down to pick up his clothes, slipping on his pants before bending down to retrieve his t-shirt discarded under the bed. When he's changed, he stands at the edge of Jeongguk's bed, hands shoved into his pockets.

"I'll see you." Taehyung says, distractedly running a hand through his hair.

"Yeah." Jeongguk says, and for one stupid moment, Jeongguk almost asks him to stay. But that wasn't sex, nor pleasure, nor whatever this was. It was... well Jeongguk doesn't know what it was yet. So, he just stays silent while Taehyung gives him a short nod, watching as the door slides open, and Taehyung is gone, slipping into the corridor.

Jeongguk shoves his face into the pillow with a sigh and wonders why the bed feels unusually cold.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg i feel this is going to be like 15k - 20k now there's still so much to go ahhh
> 
> ( should probs stop writing smut...........)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All Jeongguk knows is that he wants something, he just doesn't understand what it is yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly, i'm happy with this, but since it's unbeta'd I might be missing something. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this smut-angst fest that I literally wrote in one day omg.

A few days later, Jeongguk get a call right in the middle of a lecture, his phone blaring loud and insistent in his pocket. Multiple heads turn around to stare, including a very pointed glare from the professor as he fumbles to turn it off.

The caller ID flashes Taehyung. Jeongguk raises his eyebrow, in slight curiosity before he swipes to reject the call.

"Who was that?" Junhong, a fellow first year asks.

Jeongguk shrugs as he fires off a quick text: _im in class._ "It's probably nothing." He says, before pocketing his phone.

-

Afterwards, when the lecture is over, Jeongguk lingers outside one of the buildings and calls Taehyung, who picks up after only just one ringtone.

"Um, you called?"

"Yeah." Taehyung mutters giving an irritated huff Jeongguk hopes wasn't directed at him. "I'm sorry, I didn't know you were in class."

"Nah, it's okay." Jeongguk shrugs. "Why'd you call?"

"Well." Taehyung says slowly. "You see, my _asshole_ of a roommate kicked me out..." Jeongguk hears rustling at the other end if the line. "TO FUCK HIS GIRLFRIEND." He hears Taehyung shout away from the phone.

Jeongguk couldn't help it, he snorts out a very unsympathetic laugh.

Taehyung makes a noise that vaguely sounds like a dying whale. "Jeonggeoooooook! I'm sitting in the corridor like a loser-" He hears a grating noise from the phone that makes Jeongguk wince. "-with this stupid hunk of metal."

"What do you want me to do about it?" Jeongguk laughs. "Revenge sex?"

Taehyung huffs, and Jeongguk can almost see him pouting. "If you're into public corridor blow jobs then sure."

Jeongguk chokes. "You're not actually serious."

"No! You piece of horse poop. I mean unless you're into that kind of thing, but that's beside the point." Taehyung sighs, and before Jeongguk can reply, he starts rambling off again. "I've got this stupid thing due tomorrow, and yeah, I need some place to work that isn't this corridor, and surrounded by my roommates gross sex noises." He says all this in one messy breath, exhaling sharply.

Jeongguk raises an eyebrow. "Some place as in...?"

"Your dorm?" Taehyung suggests.

"Um. No?"

"Please?" Taehyung whines.

"Don't you have any other friends that you could go to?" Jeongguk asks. _You know, other than your fuck buddy?_

In truth, it's not that he has anything against Taehyung working at his dorm, it's just, he's always counter-productive when Taehyung is even a 3 metre vicinity from him.

"No." Taehyung huffs. "They're all out, and I would be too if not for this stupid thing. C'mon, I'll give you like 50 blowjobs. Jeongguk, _Jeongguuuuk_." Taehyung whines.

"Fine, fine." Jeongguk sighs. "Just don't distract me or anything."

"I wouldn't dream of it." A smooth purr against the phone that leaves slight flutters in Jeongguk's stomach.

"I'll see you soon then?"

"Thanks babe." Taehyung says before hanging up.

Jeongguk sighs as he begins walking to his dorm. Taehyung always gets what he wants.

-

"What the fuck is that?" Jeongguk says when he opens the door, staring down at what looks like a clump of wires and shiny metal, bundled lovingly in Taehyung's arms.

Taehyung pokes his head around the armful of _the thing_ , a screwdriver wedged between his mouth and mumbles a few garbled words that sounds like "Mrghh?"

"Um." Jeongguk stares.

Taehyung shakes his head and thrusts the mess of metal into Jeongguk's arms, who gives a startled yelp, fumbling.

Taking the screwdriver out of his mouth with a grin Taehyung says,"Yeah, yeah. Just put that thing on the floor, wait a second..." He ducks out of the room, while Jeongguk stands in the middle of his dorm, blinking stupidly.

While Jeongguk is putting _the thing_ onto the ground, Taehyung crashes in with another armful of shiny, metallic materials, and a dirty laptop under his arm. Dumping them all down onto the dorm floor with a satisfied grin.

"Um." Jeongguk says, staring down at his dorm floor, gone from semi-clean to dilapidated car dump in less than two seconds.

"Don't worry your pretty head over this." Taehyung grins, all bright teeth. "I'll clean this up, promise I'll be gone by morning."

Jeongguk doesn't dare move, worried that he might lose a foot if he accidently steps on anything. "Just..." He shakes his head with a sigh. "-don't distract me or anything?"

"Of course, babe. I'll be quiet." Taehyung winks, before settling onto the dorm floor, crosslegged as he starts getting to work. Jeongguk blinks down at the wave of mess on his floor, before slowly making his way back to his desk wondering what he actually agreed to.

-

It turns out that Taehyung and Jeongguk have different definitions of quiet.

Taehyung's definition of quiet involves, singing and loud clanging and whirring noises followed by slight mutterings. And Jeongguk would long have told him to shut the fuck up so he could continue studying calculus, except Taehyung actually has a nice voice. One that's gentle, breathy and smooth. Deep and powerful. It takes him a whole two minutes to realize that he had completely zoned out, pencil skittering to the edges of his pages, as he listens. Snatches of a song Jeongguk doesn't recognize.

At one point, when the clanging increases, Jeongguk turns around to tell him to ease it down a little bit, and oh he wish he hadn't. Taehyung is dirty, oil smeared across his cheek, dusting his skin in smatterings of grey. His eyebrows are furrowed in concentration, a look similar to when he's blowing Jeongguk, and isn't that thought just _sinful._ He’s curved over his work, body taut, highlighting the delicious curve of muscles as he works at a screw.  

"Fuck." Jeongguk curses softly as he whips his head around, picking his pen up again.He really is so fucking screwed. Calculus isn't easy on a normal day, let alone when you're in a room surrounded by the faint smell of metal and the walking definition of sex. He stares down at his set of equations, willing them to burst into flames.

"Hey." A sudden, warm huff of breath skims over his neck. Jeongguk flinches, jolting his knee against the table with a painful yelp.

"What the hell?" Jeongguk says, turning to meet a grinning, very rumpled and dirty Taehyung. Smudges of oil dusting his cheeks, hair a wild mess. Jeongguk kind of likes it.  Fuck.

"You look stressed as fuck. You okay?" Taehyung tilts his head, and Jeongguk sees the graceful, curve of his neck poking from his ratty t-shirt, all dirtied. It should not make Jeongguk shift in his chair, swallowing, but it does.

"Yeah, just-" Jeongguk waves a vague hand. "calculus." And you.

Taehyung's smile widens, and his tongue flicks out to run over the swell of his lower lip, slow and deliberate. Jeongguk watches the movement with an unblinking gaze. "Need help relaxing?"

"I..." Jeongguk's throat is dry. "I've got a lot of work to do..." He trails off.

"That never has stopped you, right?" Taehyung eyes flick down to graze over Jeongguk's body, languid and smooth. Jeongguk shifts under his gaze, body tight and coiled and anticipating. His cheek are hot, unbearably so.

Jeongguk gives a shaky exhale, before giving in, just like he does every time. "Didn't you say something about fifty blow jobs?" Jeongguk says with the slightest hint of a smirk.

Taehyung's answering smile is pleasant "We'll see if you can last that long."

"Oh god." Jeongguk mutters to himself as Taehyung's hands fumble with his belt.

-

"I was supposed to be productive!" Taehyung wails on the floor of Jeongguk's dorm, rubbing at the come on his cheek.

"Me too." Jeongguk sighs, as he drops his head onto the table. "You suck."

Taehyung laughs. "Yeah I do. I just did a lot of it actually."       

Jeongguk doesn't even humor Taehyung with an answer, instead gives a long, drawn out sigh.

Taehyung fumbles with one of the pieces of metal, littered on the ground, playing with it in his hands. "I'm not going to finish this stupid thing. This is it, I'm quitting college and I'm going to the mountains to become a hermit."

Jeongguk laughs into the table. "There's no wifi there."

Taehyung makes a noise at the back of his throat. "We'll go and be hermits together."

"Then we wouldn't be hermits. We'll just be two broke college guys."

Taehyung laughs, loud and bright and infectious, enough that Jeongguk starts grinning wildly too.

There's a heated fluttering under his skin, but instead of the familiar curl of arousal under his stomach, this time it's in his chest. Insistent and hot to the touch.

"Don't sleep on the floor." Jeongguk finally says, as stares down at his sheet. "You've got that thing due tomorrow."

"Mm." Taehyung yawns.

Jeongguk throws a balled up piece of paper that bounces off Taehyung's chest. "Move, dumbass."

Taehyung groans, rubbing his eyes with a sleepy yawn. "Fine, fine." he mumbles. "Pretty sure the only reason you don't want me to fail college is because of my blowjobs."

"You're right." Jeongguk agrees.

-

Just when Jeongguk thinks he’s getting the hang of this disgusting calculus crap, Taehyung break his train with of thought with a loud, bitchy “Jeongguk, my stomach is going to eat itself.”

“There’s an apple in my bag.” Jeongguk shrugs, tapping the pen to his lips.

“An _apple._ ” Taehyung says, incredulous. “That can’t even feed a baby ant.”

Jeongguk shrugs. “Fine by you then.”

“Jeongguk.” Taehyung whines. When Jeongguk doesn’t reply, Taehyung repeats his name with another low, drawn out whine. “Jeongguuuuuuuuuuk.”

Jeongguk turns around to meet a pouting Taehyung perched on his bed, an ocean of scrap surrounding the small, beacon of hope that is his bed. He doesn’t even bother to comment on the mess anymore, and just shakes his head with a heave of his shoulders.

“Fine, fine. But you’re paying.”

“Yes!” Taehyung grins, all bright teeth. “Hawaiian Pizza?”

Jeongguk wrinkles his nose. “You put pineapples on your pizza? That shit is gross.”

Taehyung’s mouth drops open. “And you don’t? What do you want then?”

“Pepperoni.”

“Pepperoni? You like _salami?_.”

“Better than pineapple.” Jeongguk huffs.

“At least that’s edible!”

They end up getting barbecue chicken instead, because as Taehyung puts it “No one has anything against barbecue chicken, that shit is _heavenly_.” Jeongguk couldn’t disagree. Watching as Taehyung drapes himself on his bed, as he makes the call. Jeongguk’s appreciative gaze rolls down the arch of Taehyung’s body, just once before he’s turning back to his work with a sigh.

He hears a drawn out yawn, and Jeongguk tenses. He suddenly gets the image of Taehyung arching himself out on the bed, arms stretched, muscles tight as he-

“You’re a productive student for a first year. Aren’t you?” Jeongguk turns to see Taehyung smirk over the edge of his laptop, fingers skittering against the keys. Jeongguk huffs a laugh, if you can call productive, getting distracted every two seconds, then sure. “Thought you’ll be out clubbing, or whatever you first years do.”

Jeongguk shrugs. “Yeah, not feeling up to it tonight. Tired.”

“You seem like a clubbing sort of person.”  Taehyung grins, tapping at his computer.

What’s that supposed to mean? Jeongguk wants to ask. “Are you?” Jeongguk blurts out instead.

Taehyung’s fingers still against the keys and he looks up to meet Jeongguk’s stare with a lazy grin. “Yeah.” Dark and deliciously sweet. It reminds Jeongguk of that first night, flashing lights and the feel of Taehyung against him, sharp and sweet and addictive. His tongue and his lips and-

“You’ve been there for hours, isn’t your butt numb?” Taehyung asks, tone teasing.

And on that note, his butt really is numb, Jeongguk realizes, shifting with a grimace. Taehyung laughs at that.

“C’mon.” He says, patting the bed. “ You need to relax, I would give you another blowjob, but-” Taehyung rubs at his jaw with a frown.

“Ah, no, no it’s okay.” Jeongguk says quickly, flicking his gaze away from the raw red of Taehyung’s lips.

“Wow your work ethic.” Taehyung sighs. “It’s a Friday night , c’mon, let’s fuck, watch a movie? Both?”

Jeongguk shifts in his seat, and it’s honestly very, _very_ appealing, But-

“C’mon, I’ll even grope your numb butt.”

Jeongguk laughs at that, and makes his way carefully towards the bed with a shake of his head. “You came here to be productive, y’know.”

“Did I really?” Taehyung grins, as he pulls Jeongguk down onto him, mouth leaning in to nip over his neck.

-

Turns out answering the door, with your shirt backwards and a half naked, giggling Taehyung on your bed, along with metal scattered along your floor is really socially unacceptable.

The pizza man merely raises an unimpressed eyebrow, holding out his hand. "That'll be 10,500 won." Jeongguk fumbles to give him the money and quickly shuts the door.

“Oh my god.” Jeongguk sighs, bringing the pizza to the bed, while Taehyung flails on the bed, laughter resounding.

“Oooh.” He makes grabby hands towards the pizza. “Gimme.”

By the time it’s 12, there’s a discarded box on the floor, littered with dry pizza crusts. Jeongguk is draped over the bed in his pajamas, tapping at his phone while Taehyung has his back pressed to the headboard, tapping at his computer. 

Jeongguk yawns, poking at Taehyung’s knee. “Are you nearly done? I need to sleep.”

“Yeah, sorry. This thing is a bitch to code. You sleep first.” Taehyung mutters, sliding off the bed, sprawling himself down onto the floor.

Jeongguk blinks sleepily. “Hey,” he mumbles as he slides under the covers, burrowing his head into the pillows. “If it gets too late, just stay over, I don’t mind.”

Taehyung doesn't say anything, frowning down at his laptop.

“Whatever.” Jeongguk shrugs, turning away to rest his head into the warmth of the pillow. He debates saying good night and then decides against it.

"G'night." He thinks he hears Taehyung mumble.

The last thing he hears is the soft, almost lulling sound of singing under Taehyung’s breath, and the melodic tap of keys.

-

Jeongguk wakes up hours later, the room a pitch black. The red numbers on his clock blink a glaring 2:34 am. There's still a slight light emanating from his bedside table, Taehyung, a small figure still curved over his work, fiddling with a screw. He’s very quiet, slight breaths and fluttery sleepy eyes.

“Tae?” Jeongguk croaks, voice husky from sleep.

“Hm?” Taehyung turns around, face highlighted into gentle slopes by the light.

“Go sleep, it’s late.” Jeongguk mumbles, reaching a hand out.

“I…” Taehyung starts with a frown.

“Don’t be stupid, c’mon.”

With a sigh, Taehyung stumbles towards the small bed as Jeongguk shifts over to make room. When he crawls under the covers, Jeongguk wrinkles his nose. He smells metallic and dirty, but right now Jeongguk doesn’t care too much, instead relishing in the warmth of his body against his, before his eyes flutter closed again.

He thinks he hears Taehyung start to say something but he doesn't manage to catch it before sleep drifts in.

-

Jeongguk wakes up to wet pleasure blooming from his stomach. He gives a surprised gasp, hips arching to meet the wet heat of a familiar mouth.

“Tae.” Jeongguk gasps, voice still scratchy with sleep.

“Good morning.” Taehyung grins, cheek rubbing against Jeongguk’s cock. His voice is teasing, and sensual, and really _not okay_ this early in the morning.

“Fuck you.” Jeongguk breathes, letting his head fall back onto the pillow.

“Well, that’s the point yeah.” Taehyung says, as his fingers curl around his cock, moving with slow, slick tugs.

"I want your mouth." Jeongguk says, as Taehyung fists his cock, with gentle, lazy strokes.

"Say that again." When Jeongguk stares down, Taehyung is grinning.

"I... want your mouth." Jeongguk repeats, all breathy and soft.

"Again."

"Please. I want you, please." Jeongguk whines, giving a sharp exhale as Taehyung's fingers still against his cock. " _Please_."

"Good boy." And then Taehyung's mouth is on him, and it makes Jeongguk breathe out a harsh, dizzy gasp, hips bucking up to meet the warmth of his mouth, pleasure blooming and blurry under the slight haze of sleep still clinging to his senses.

"Fuck." Jeongguk says as his fingers find their way into Taehyung's hair, tugging slightly as Taehyung sucks him off, slow and wet and perfect.

"Babe." Taehyung breathes against the inside of his thighs, teeth nipping against the sensitive skin there. Jeongguk's thighs start to tremble, fingers trembling against Taehyung's hair, giving one last tug as Taehyung licks a stripe down the underside of his cock. He's close, the stirs of pleasure collecting at his stomach, back arching from the bed.

"Come for me, babe." Taehyung mumbles, words almost lost in the sheets.

And Jeongguk's coming, stifling his moan with the back of his hand, eyes clenched shut. It hits hard enough that Jeongguk lies there, dazed and sleepy for a few seconds, white blurring at the edges of his vision.

He feels Taehyung move, watching through lidded eyes as his muscles shift smoothly as he moves up Jeongguk's body, lithe and graceful. Jeongguk can feel his erection pressing against his thighs, insistent and hard.

"Mm, good morning." Jeongguk mumbles, giving a lazy smile.

Taehyung grinds against Jeongguk's thighs. "Only 48 more blowjobs to go." He gasps, eyes crinkling as his smiles.

"Yeah." Jeongguk agrees, reaching a hand down into Taehyung's sweatpants.

"Oh." Taehyung sighs, as Jeongguk gets him off with lazy tugs. He rocks into his hand, fingers digging into Jeongguk's shoulders hard enough to bruise. It's soft and a bit blurry at the edges but mind numbing pleasure all the same. A gentle, lazy fuck.

It doesn't take long for Taehyung to come, he bites into Jeongguk's shoulder as the orgasm rocks through him, a short, breathy moan, stifled by the skin on Jeongguk's shoulder.

"Fuck yes that was great." Taehyung says, as he sinks back down onto the pillow.

Jeongguk wrinkles his nose, come sticking to his fingers. "Yeah, your mouth is pretty okay to be honest."

Taehyung laughs. "What every guy wants to hear."

Jeongguk stretches with a yawn, sitting up to make his way to the dorm bathroom, when he takes note of the mess surrounding his bed, eyes widening, mouth dropping open. "Oh my god."

"48 blowjobs." Taehyung mumbles with a shrug, which earns him a punch in the shoulder.

-

“Your room is a mess.” Jimin says as he steps into Jeongguk’s room.

“No it isn’t.” Jeongguk says. “This is clean, so clean.” Only a few days ago it had been a complete mess, even a inch of visible floor seems like a heaven compared to the hell a few days ago.

Jimin grins. “Keep telling yourself that, kid. “

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “You should have seen my room on Friday. It was…” He shudders.

“Huh? What happened on Friday?” Jimin asks as he seats himself on Jeongguk’s bed, cross legged.

Jeongguk gives a careless shrug. “Oh. Taehyung was over.”

Jimin gives a wide grin “Oh, now that makes a whole lot more sense.”

“Wait, wait. Not like that. He had work to do, so he stayed over.” Jeongguk says, with a calculated shrug of his shoulders.

“Stayed over as in sleepover?” Jimin’s tone is incredulous.

Jeongguk wrinkles his nose, seating himself down onto his chair. “That sounds really stupid.”

“Oh my god, you didn’t deny it!” Jimin laughs, loud and obnoxious. “Dude, dude. The only people who have sleepovers are 12 year girls and boyfriends. And let me tell you, you two are _definitely_ not 12 year old girls.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” Jeongguk frowns.

Jimin’s grin is teasing. “You’re pouting.”

“I am not.”

“Yes you, AH!” Jimin suddenly screeches, scrambling away from the bed.

“What the hell are you doing?” Jeongguk sighs.

Jimin points at the bed with a look of aghast horror. “Is that, _is that come_?”

“Um.” Jeongguk says. “It’s mayonnaise?”

“Mayo… mayonnaise…?” Jimin huffs,  pointing a finger at Jeongguk. “You were eating mayonnaise on your bed? Bullshit.”

Jeongguk shrugs, lips tugging into a slight grin. “Well, what else was I supposed to say?”

“You are so gross.” Jimin sighs, moving further away from the bed with a slight shudder. “Don’t tell me you guys had morning sleepover sex, because…” Jimin trails off when Jeongguk doesn't answer, eyes staring down at the floor intently.

“YOU DID!” Jimin gasps. “That's so romantic! You guys are so dating. Namjoon owes me like 10,000 won.”

“You bet on us?” Jeongguk hisses.

“Aha! So you are dating!” Jimin says gleefully. “I know you hate listening to wise Jimin hyungs advice. I’m officially 10,000 won richer.”

“No!” Jeongguk snaps, anger surfacing from his chest from almost nowhere, threatening to tumble out into harsh words. “We’re not dating! Dating would mean actually going on dates, all we do is fuck and fuck okay?”

He gives a shaky soft exhale. That wasn’t what he was supposed to say.

Jimin features soften. “You sound really angry about that.” He says quietly.

Jeongguk scrubs a hand across his face. “Look. I told you. I’m not…  we’re really not anything.” Gentle flutters in his chest mean nothing. 

The air is still and quiet, buzzing with the serrated edges of tension when Jimin asks. “Do you want to be more?”

Jeongguk exhales harshly. “I don’t. It's just... Yeah.” All Jeongguk knows is that he wants _something_ , he just doesn't understand what it is yet. It's too messy. Sex is easy. It's not supposed to be hard.

“Okay.” Jimin is moving to rest a comforting hand on Jeongguk’s shoulder, who eases up into his touch. “Do you want to talk about it?"

Jeongguk's face closes off. "No. It's nothing."

"Okay." Jimin says. "I'm sorry."

“We’re not anything.” Jeongguk says, more to himself than anyone. “He doesn’t matter to me.”

“Yes I know. Taehyung he-”

“You don’t know him.” Jeongguk cuts Jimin off with careless words.

“Sorry.” Jimin gives Jeongguk’s shoulders a squeeze. “C’mon, let’s go out. Clubbing, food, hell, even go fuck someone else? Anything to stop this moping and get that Taehyung guy off your mind how does that sound?” His voice is gentle.

Jeongguk frowns. “I’m not _moping_ , besides I thought we were studying?”

“Not like this.” Jimin says with a resolute shake of his head. “C’mon, there’s a new club that opened down the road. Let’s go.”

“I’m tired.” Jeongguk whines as Jimin drags him to his feet.

“You won’t be when we get there!” Jimin sing-songs, as he tugs Jeongguk out the door.

-

The night, is a dark, inky black by the time they reach the club. All neon lights, bright and flashy in the darkness, pounding music vibrating from the walls. They almost miss Namjoon, who is standing near the entrance, hair a brilliant white, head bent down tapping at his phone. He looks up when Jimin and Jeongguk arrive, flashing a smile brighter than his hair.

"Ah. You guys are here." Namjoon says, pocketing his phone.

"Namjoon, what are you doing here?" Jeongguk asks.

"Well, someone told me our maknae needed a little cheering up." Little dimples litter his cheeks when he grins.

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. "Well, that someone sounds incredibly stupid."

"Hey!" Jimin huffs, swatting Jeongguk with the back of his hand. "Your hyungs graciously take you clubbing and this is how you thank us?"

Namjoon laughs. "Are you guys going to keep arguing and freeze our asses out here or are we going in?"

"Yes!" Jimin says, face lighting up. "C'mon let's go."

After bypassing a disinterested bouncer, who lets them in with a wave of his hand, Jeongguk is dragged into the world of flashing lights, sweaty bodies and intoxicating music that is awfully reminiscent of that first night meeting Taehyung.

 _Why are you still thinking about him goddammit._ Jeongguk thinks as Jimin's fingers curl around his wrists, dragging him towards the bar.

"Here." Jimin says sliding a few bright coloured shots in Jeongguk's direction. "Drink up. It's on me. "

Jeongguk doesn't protest, and downs all the shots in quick succession, relishing in the almost painful burn of the alcohol sliding down his throat. He gives a slight, shiver as the familiar, dizzying fire courses under his skin. It feels good. Too good.

"Feel better?" Jimin's grin is lazy and careless at the edges, his lips are wet and red, complimented by the sweet sheen of tequila.

"Yeah." Jeongguk nods, bringing another cup to his lips.

"You feeling up to dance?" Jimin says, knocking his head back to down another shot. "Because I am, hell go find someone cute."

"Yeah." Jeongguk swallows, eyes flitting to the dance floor. Bright skin flashing, appealing and beckoning.

"I've seen people eyeing you already.  Go get them." Jimin gestures to the dance floor.

With a shrug, Jeongguk moves towards the dance floor. The second he steps on, he feels fingers graze his back already. Jeongguk shivers; his skin burns, sensitive to touch.

"Hey, Jeongguk." He hears someone say in his ear. Jeongguk jolts.

"Namjoon what the fuck. I thought-" Jeongguk splutters as his eyes turn to meet dark brown one's. "Don't tell me you were trying to grind on me."

"No, what the hell." Namjoon frowns. "I just wanted to tell you that..." He hesitates.

"What." Jeongguk slurs. "I could be getting some right now. Please hurry up."

"He's here. Taehyung that is."

Jeongguk perks up at that, neck craning over the masses of bodies. And isn't that just _stupid_. He remembers that first night, grinding and heat and something sharp between their bodies and lips. Intoxicating and perfect. He wants it again.

"Jeongguk!" Namjoon hisses, voice almost lost in the thundering beats of music.

"What?" Jeongguk says. "I told you, he's my fuck buddy." He gives a harsh laugh. "Hell, maybe he'll be into a threesome. I don't know. _I don't care_."

Namjoon's face falls, concern and hurt softening his features. "Jeongguk. Please, just don't do anything stupid okay? He's not good news."

Jeongguk gives Namjoon a lazy grin. "Fuck off."

Namjoon face tightens. "Jeongguk..."

"Please." Jeongguk says, and Namjoon listens then, giving him one sharp nod before he disappears into the crowd of people, leaving Jeongguk careless and free. There's the slightest pang of regret uncoiling under his chest, but Jeongguk pushes it away and drowns in the thick waves of music crashing against his ears. Throwing his head back, as he lets the heat of people around him, move him.

The next hour is a dizzy haze. There's bodies and limbs and lips everywhere. Pretty people and slender hands around his waist. At one point, someone with gorgeous red lips is dipping their lips into his neck, and kissing a trail to his mouth. It feels good. She taste like alcohol, all soft curves and a warm, sweet mouth. It's hot and then it's not, and shes gone, in between kisses.

Jeongguk doesn't know how long he's been in the wave of people when he feels familiar hands grasp his waist, and wet lips are leaning in to mouth at his ear. Jeongguk doesn't care, so he just leans back into the touch.

Jeongguk freezes when he hears them huff a laugh against his ear. "Fancy seeing you here, babe."

"Taehyung." Jeongguk breathes, as he feels fingers tighten around his waist. He whips around to meet dark, _dark_ eyes, playful yet predatory.

"She's cute." Taehyung's breath is hot and unbearable against his ear.

Jeongguk smiles lazily. "What, are you jealous?" Taehyung smiles then, slow and sharp. He leans in so his breath ghosts Jeongguk's cheek, cloying and sweet with the sharpest hint of alcohol.

"Yes." Taehyung growls, pulling Jeongguk in close so their chests bump. Fingers skim over Jeongguk's lips, wiping away the slight tint of lipstick left from his previous kiss.

"Oh?" Jeongguk says. Dizzy, everything is dizzy. The smell of Taehyung, the sweet burn through his veins, the taste of the girl before him.

Taehyung lips dip to his neck, and Jeongguk arches to give him more access, gasping as teeth graze the smooth skin, tongue flicking out to tease.

"Tae." Jeongguk gasps, as Taehyung's mouth move to his ear.

"How would you like it if I would fuck you right here and right now?" Taehyung whispers. Jeongguk shivers. "Right on the floor, or maybe on the bar, ass in the air for everyone to see."

"Fuck, Taehyung. Please don't-" Jeongguk scrunches his eyes shut.  

"And then." His teeth scrape, slowly over Jeongguk's earlobe. "Everyone will know, you belong to me."

_Belong to me._

Those words ring in his head and beats in his chest until they hurt. They taste cold on his lips and wet against his ears.

"Fuck." Jeongguk hisses, curling his fingers sound Taehyung's shoulders with a shaky exhale. "I need, I want-"

"Tell me what you want baby."

"You.” Jeongguk shivers as Taehyung presses trembling lips to his.

Taehyung grins. "I'll meet you at my dorm." And he's pulling away, disappearing into the crowds.

When Jeongguk is moving towards the exit, he sees Namjoon, who gives him a long, disapproving shake of his head. But Jeongguk doesn't see it, because he's already turning away.

-

When Jeongguk arrives at the dorm, Taehyung is already there, leaning against the door.

"You took your time." He all but growls into Jeongguk's mouth as the door is pushed open. The door closes with a sharp click as Taehyung pushes him into it, capturing his lips with his own, kissing with tongue and teeth until they are both raw and red and panting.

Just when Taehyung’s hands are pressing against his crotch, he feels something bump into his leg, and at first Jeongguk thinks it’s just a table, but then it _moves_.

“FUCK!” Jeongguk screeches, flinching his leg away from a clump of moving metal on the ground. “What the fuck is that?!”

Taehyung smirks, fingers toying with the edge of Jeongguk’s shirt. “That’s the thing I was working on at your place. It’s a vacuum cleaner.” He says easily.

Jeongguk stares at it warily. “That is not a vacuum cleaner. It has _arms_.”

Taehyung shrugs. “It helps pick up my socks too.”

At that, the clump of metal chirps, lights blinking up at Jeongguk.

“Oh my fucking god.” Jeongguk sighs, resting his head back into the door. “Can you please turn that thing off and get back to fucking?”

“You could be more appreciative.” Taehyung mutters as he clicks a button on the thing,lights flickering off as it shuts.

“Now.” He turns to Jeongguk with a dark grin, fisting his hands in his shirt, leaning in to brush his lips against Jeongguk’s. “Where were we?” Jeongguk laughs, and lets Taehyung’s lips guide him  into another messy kiss that tastes like fire and ashy smoke.

They move from the door to the bed, Taehyung pushes Jeongguk down harshly, before peeling off his shirt;  his tongue flicks out to wet his lips, eyes grazing down Jeongguk's body, hungry and needy.

"Tell me what you want." Taehyung says, as his fingers find their way under Jeongguk's shirt. Just that simple touch is enough for Jeongguk to gasp. The alcohol makes everything so much more sharper and sensitive. His vision blurs.

And it must be that unforgiving fire burning in his veins, but it makes Jeongguk gasp, and in an angry, red haze he says. "I want to fuck you."

Taehyung hesitates, just for a second, before his lips are tugging into a smirk. "Of course babe. Want me to take a ride?"

Jeongguk shivers. "Yes, fuck yes. Taehyung please." He lets Taehyung tug his shirt off, and whimpers as his teeth mouth at the sensitive skin of his nipples, while Taehyung's fingers play with the head of his cock poking up from his sweatpants.

"Oh. Not, yet." Jeongguk gasps. "You're going to make me come. Taehyung."

"You're so sensitive like this." Taehyung breathes, pressing lips to Jeongguk's neck. "All needy and hot."

"Taehyung." Jeongguk grits out, arching his hips up as his pants are pulled down along with his boxers.

"Be a good boy and wait here." Taehyung says as he reaches over to grab the lube that Jeongguk keeps in his second drawer along with a condom packet. Jeongguk watches,  resisting the overwhelming urge to just get himself off. Arousal, almost painful at this point, cock standing hard, begging to be touched.

Taehyung drips lube across his fingers, shucking off his pants, before he parts his legs right where Jeongguk can see everything. The hard, red line of his cock, to the pretty curve of his balls and the small, impossibly small hole. Jeongguk watches, mouth parted as Taehyung slips a finger inside himself, hips arching slightly as he rocks back onto his own fingers.

"Are you watching this Jeongguk?" Taehyung gasps as he slips in another finger.

Jeongguk's mouth is dry, and all he can do is stare. It's so _sinful_. The hard lines of Taehyung's body, the jut of his knuckles as he adds a third finger, the slight gasps he makes, the arching and exhales.

"Taehyung." Jeongguk's eyelids flutter as he presses his bare back into the hard wood of the headboard.

"It's okay baby." Taehyung sighs. "I'm nearly done."

After a few muted minutes of watching, until Jeongguk actually feels like the arousal is going to burn him from the inside out, Taehyung finally slips his fingers out and throws a grin at Jeongguk.

"All ready." Taehyung says, opening the condom packet with his teeth, before slipping it skillfully over Jeongguk's cock. "Just relax." Taehyung's pupils are dilated, eyelids hazy and lidded. "You ready?"

All Jeongguk can do is shakily nod, before Taehyung is sinking down on him. His fingers tighten around the sheets, because Taehyung is tight and perfect and _fuckfuckfuck._

"You okay? Can I move?" Taehyung gasps.

"Please."

Taehyung nods, and with hands gripped around the headboard, he starts moving. It's _too much_. The feel of Taehyung above him, his ass, the tightness, the way he moans, the sweat glistening on his neck, as he throws his head back as he rides him. The world is a blurry mess, yet sharpened to the feel of pleasure crashing against his stomach, blooming to his chest and breathed out into rushed, desperate kisses.

 _Belong to me._ Words muttered so carelessly from an hour ago, yet It’s those words that ring in Jeongguk's ears behind the wet mess of white noise. There’s nowhere to hide during sex.

 _I want, I want-_ A dangerous thought, and Jeongguk would rather drown in the waves of pleasure then continue it. But his mind doesn't let him, messy and tangled in pleasure and alcohol and Taehyung and continues on it's own.

 _I want to be yours._ Jeongguk thinks as he leans in to bite into Taehyung's neck. And for a second, just one second, Jeongguk can almost taste him; can almost take him. He leans in, the barest graze, the barest blush of red against pretty skin, that sends blooms of pleasure across Jeongguk's stomach.

There's a moment of hesitance. Taehyung stills before he arches his neck away from Jeongguk's teeth and even under the haze of pleasure and fire, there's the slightest pang of hurt.

 _But not like this._ He thinks as Taehyung comes against his chest with a shivery gasp, fingers digging into his chest hard enough to bleed. Jeongguk gasps as he comes hard soon after, enough for his vision to turn a stark white, tumbled moans falling from his lips.

Coming down from his orgasm, Jeongguk stares up at Taehyung with fluttery lids. _Belong to me. Yours. Mine._  Scary, dangerous thoughts that he doesn't want to have, so he lets them all shatter against their naked chests, falling into the dizzy wave of alcohol and not resurfacing.

Taehyung slumps against Jeongguk's chest, breath coming out in slight heaves, head resting against the arch of Jeongguk's shoulder. "Fuck that was-"

"Yeah." Jeongguk agrees, dazed as Taehyung slips out, falling onto the bed with a groan.

Jeongguk ties the condom and discards it to the ground. Head lolling back to hit the headboard, the beginnings of a headache blooming in sharp spikes.

There's a few minutes of silence that Jeongguk nearly falls asleep through. Except Taehyung’s voice wakes him up from the slight haze.

"Do... do your friends know about us?" Taehyung asks, hesitant and soft.  

Jeongguk raises an eyebrow at that. "Why does that matter?"

"It's just.. I don't want-" He trails off, fingers tapping against Jeongguk's hipbone.

“Them to know about us?”

When Taehyung nods, Jeongguk gives a small, bitter grin, and the next words he says don't sound like his. "They do, and why does it matter to them who you fuck? Considering you fuck everything and everyone."

He's met with harsh silence, and if Jeongguk was sober, he might have regretted it. He isn't though. And this is Taehyung. None of it matters.

Hands splay across his waist, and Taehyung's leans in to press his mouth against the curve of Jeongguk's chin.

"Are we going to go a second round..." Taehyung says softly. "Or are we going to keep talking about shit?"

Jeongguk grins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've been really busy lately, with exams and whatnot. Not to mention i'm going to america in a month so the next chapter may take a while. I'm really sorry! owo
> 
> To be honest, this fic was written as a personal guilty pleasure? And I never expected people to leave nice comments and kudos! Thank you so much! *smooches you all*


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doesn't that make you his?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the self indulgent phone sex (that i kind of chickened out a bit in writing haha) but i hope you guys like this chapter anyways. uwu  
> p.s also i have zero idea how university works, sorry :

Jeongguk spends the next week avoiding Taehyung. It's really not hard, considering midterms are coming up, and Jeongguk dives headfirst into studying, opting for closed doors and the comforting scritch scratch of his pen against paper.

Avoiding Taehyung however, did not mean less Taehyung. And in that week, Jeongguk more or less learnt the difference between craving sex and craving Taehyung. Craving sex was easy. Nameless bodies, nameless actions and a hand on his cock. Just pleasure, pure and wonderful.

Craving Taehyung, on the other hand was wanting something that Jeongguk knows he probably can never get. He thinks about fucking Taehyung, sure, of the smooth curve of his ass, and how pretty it looks under his fingers, and the way his lips shape into moans, and the way he says his name. But it doesn't stop there, he thinks about lips, and fingers and wide laughs, and things that aren't his to want.

It's easy to push those thoughts, deep down away into the tiny crevice in the corner of his mind. And focus again on the complicated words of his textbook that actually make more sense than all this. And when Jeongguk's phone pings, he ignores it.

-

A few days later, Jeongguk is drowning in a wave of papers, cups of coffee littered on his dorm floor and nearing the teetering edge of a mental breakdown when his phone rings with a call.

Without looking at the caller ID, he brings it to his ear. "Jimin! Sit my exam for me and I will love you forever." Jeongguk whines into the phone.

A laugh, that sounds awfully familiar but is decidedly not Jimin sounds, and Jeongguk stiffens. "Midterm hell?"

"Taehyung?" Jeongguk scrambles up from the floor. "Um. Sorry."

"Been studying your ass off?"

"Yeah." Jeongguk says. “Why are you calling?”

Taehyung sighs. "Speaking of asses, I miss _your_ ass. I mean when was the last time I touched it?"

Jeongguk stifles the laugh with his hand. "Last week?"

"Exactly! Way too long." Taehyung whines.

"Midterms, Tae. I can't fuck and study you know." Jeongguk grins.

"You can try."

"Oh?" Jeongguk huffs a laugh.

"I mean, I love your ass and all, but your cock is pretty nice too." Taehyung shrugs.

Jeongguk chokes.

There's a sudden influx of voices from the phone, and Jeongguk realizes Taehyung is talking to someone else, or really arguing by the sounds of it, followed by a slamming of a door that makes Jeongguk flinch away from the phone with a frown.

"Um, what was that?"

"Ugh, sorry." Taehyung sighs. "Just my roommate Yoongi, being a stingy shit. Like he hasn't fucked his girlfriend on every living inch of this room." He gives a petulant huff.

"Was he the one who locked you out that time?" Jeongguk asks.

"Yep. Ooh, we should totally have revenge sex. On his bed? He would hate that."

"Um."

"Or maybe on his desk? It looks pretty sturdy. I know you like it from behind." Taehyung muses, more to himself than anyone.

"Taehyung."

"Maybe a different position? You, legs spread on the table, and I can-"

" _TAEHYUNG._ "

"Oops." Taehyung huffs an easy laugh. "Got a bit carried away there."

Jeongguk would be lying if he said he isn't at least half hard right now, images, dirty and fleeting flash in his mind. He should end the call, he should be studying for gods sake, not getting hard at Taehyung's words. How did he think fuck buddies was a good idea again?

"You're turned on aren't you, Jeongguk?" Taehyung says. Oh that’s why. The way Taehyung’s voice instantly turns dark and breathy makes Jeongguk shift on the floor, clutching the phone to his ear.

"Fuck you," Jeongguk sighs. "I told you I can't do study and sex."

Taehyung laughs. "We can try. What are you wearing?"

"We are not having phone sex." Jeongguk sighs.

"Don't be a party pooper!” Taehyung whines.

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. "Fine, I'm wearing a coffee stained shirt that I haven't washed in three days, happy?"

Taehyung hums a low noise in his throat. "I like you a little dirty you know." Jeongguk tenses.

"Yeah?" Jeongguk says, something caught in his throat.

"Stripping you is always so fun." Taehyung's voice is gentle and easy. "You're always wrecked by then, wanting, needing to be touched." When Jeongguk doesn't reply, breathless and wordless, Taehyung continues. "Isn't that right?"

"Taehyung." It's a warning, Taehyung doesn't heed and he continues.

"Babe, have you touched yourself recently? Did you miss me?" Taehyung urges, voice a gentle purr against the phone. It's scary how right he is, and Jeongguk's fist clenches at his side.

"I missed you." Taehyung says.

Jeongguk's nails dig into his skin "I-"

"I missed sucking you off, I missed fucking you. I missed your -" Words tumbling, and tripping in their haste to get out, a harsh growl against the phone, possessive and dirty.

"Taehyung." Jeongguk breathes, letting his head fall back to hit the wall.

"I miss the way you say my name. Taehyung says, voice a gentle soothing growl in his ear.

Jeongguk doesn't say anything, but Taehyung continues, tone changing into something, darker, and filthier. And as Taehyung breathes out each thing, he wants to do to him, describing what he wants, and needs and can give, Jeongguk squeezes his eyes shut, and listens until the heat, burns through his skin and he curls a hand under his pants, letting pleasure overtake him like a suffocating blanket. Breathless and heady.

It's later, when there's come drying on his skin, and harsh exhales, as Jeongguk hears the shattered moans as Taehyung gets himself off. Eyes fluttering shut to the sounds he makes, wishing, wanting him to be here so he could see.

"Good break from studying?" Taehyung says after he's come. His voice is hoarse, sounding completely wrecked. Jeongguk wonders what he looks like right now. He’s always lazy after sex, cuddly and sated.

"You made me get come on my phone." Jeongguk sighs.

“Gladly.” Taehyung laughs.

Jeongguk stares down at the mess on his stomach, and his pants, giving a short sigh. “You're such a distraction.”

“Your fault. I have _needs_ Jeongguk.” Taehyung says and Jeongguk can almost see him pouting.. “Anyways, what are you studying for?”

Jeongguk shrugs. “I’ve got a Lit exam tomorrow.” Jeongguk says, vaguely wondering why he hasn’t hung up yet. They both got what they wanted, it was about sex, not about his stupid exam. Besides, there’s come still sticking to his phone, and cooling against his stomach. Not exactly comfortable.

“Good luck then.” Taehyung says cheerfully.

“Um, you too I guess, for your exams I mean.” He hears Taehyung laugh. “Anyways, I need to clean up, so-”

“ Oh- Yeah.” Taehyung sounds distracted . “Call me after your exams are finished yeah?”

“Okay.”

“Good night then.” And before Jeongguk can say anything he’s met with the dial tone. He stares at his phone for a while, before letting his hand drop to the floor.

-

After his last exam, Jeongguk lets out a happy whoop as he falls onto the bed with a content sigh. He takes his phone in his hand and fires off a text

_Jeongguk: I'm free!!!!_

_Jimin: It's only midterms you loser_

Jeongguk rolls his eyes, fingers faltering over the screen as he opens the Imessage tab for Taehyung's contact.

 _Jeongguk: Exams are over._ He sends, with quick, decisive taps.

The reply is almost instant, a wave of happy cat emojis, that leave Jeongguk grinning, wide and careless despite himself.

 _Taehyung: Get your hot piece of ass here,_ followed by a poofy, chicken emoji, which makes laughter bubble from Jeongguk's throat, stifled by his hand.

_Taehyung: btw, I'm not at my dorm. Come to the sciences building. ;))))_

Jeongguk raises an eyebrow at that. _Jeongguk: pls tell me we're not having sex on the dirty lab floor._

 _Taehyung: we'll see_. is all he gets and with a shake of his head, Jeongguk makes his way towards the door.

 _Taehyung: also if i give you 30 blowjobs will you bring me doughnuts????_ Followed by a pleading cat emoji.

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. _Jeongguk: that brings your blowjob debt to 70_

 

-

The robotics department is a fucking mess of halls, glass walls, and unfamiliar crowds of people that it leaves Jeongguk wandering helplessly down the hallways, running a frustrated hand through his hair. Being a freshman, he barely sets foot in this building, except for his compulsory chemistry classes. Let alone in the shiny robotics halls, littered with glass walls, and a spectacular array of equipment.

By some miracle, Jeongguk's finds himself at a place that bares some semblance of Taehyung's (shitty) descriptions. Standing in front of a bright hall, feeling awfully out of place, a box of doughnuts in his hand, looking through a glass window into a sparse room, littered with a sprawling mess of computers and machines, branching off into smaller labs.

Edging the door open, Jeongguk makes his way in quietly, still not able to catch sight of Taehyung, head whipping around helplessly.

After a while of standing around like a lost puppy, he hears someone laugh behind him, a light bubbly sound. "You don't look like you belong here." They say as Jeongguk turns around to meet a grinning face, fluffy hair and a bright smile. A cute, student in his early twenties probably.

"No, I- um is Taehyung here?"

The boy's smile widens "Oh!" He says brightly, holding out a hand that Jeongguk takes around the box of doughnuts. "You must be Jeongguk. I'm Hoseok. More or less one of Taehyung's friends. I don't think he's mentioned me?"

"Um, no sorry." Jeongguk says, managing a smile. "Nice to meet you?"

"Oh, yes, yes I was wondering when I would get to meet you. Taehyung never does stop talking about you." Hoseok sighs, words tumbling out in a quick torrent. "Oh, well better late than never." 

Jeongguk blinks at that, head tilted. "Oh. Do you know where he is?"

Hoseok nods. "Of course! He's actually in the lab, behind there." He flashes, a beautiful, blinding smile, that Jeongguk can’t help but return. He’s bright and pretty, and for a second Jeongguk wonders if Taehyung would notice that too. Hell, he probably fucks all his friends.

"Is he busy? Because I can wait-" Jeongguk says.

"Nup." Hoseok gestures towards the box. "If there's doughnuts involved, he'll hate you for it."

"Oh." Jeongguk blinks down at the box. "Do you want-"

"Oh no, no." Hoseok laughs. "Taehyung would skin me alive."

"Yeah.” Jeongguk says, beginning to edge his way towards the lab. “It was nice meeting you."

"Likewise." Hoseok says cheerfully. "I'm glad he has someone like you, Jeongguk. One of the days he’ll probably forget to eat and starve." And with a pat on the back followed by a short, happy wave, he disappears behind one of the machines. 

When Jeongguk walks into the lab Hoseok directed him to, he see's a terrifying revision of his room last time Taehyung was there, except worse, far worse.

"Taehyung?"

A messy fluff of hair emerges from behind one of the machines, followed by a wide careless grin, all teeth and a scrunched nose. "Jeongguk! And you bought doughnuts!" Taehyung skillfully maneuvers through the mess on the floor and launches himself towards Jeongguk, or more specifically the doughnuts.

"Did you get the-"

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. "Yes I got the custard ones."

Taehyung cradles the doughnuts to his chest."You are god, you are my savior." He says before, reaching in to take a bite of a round, doughnut, making a satisfied groan, that could probably rival porn stars.

"I love love, love you." Taehyung sighs, and Jeongguk doesn't know if he's talking to the doughnut or him. Frosting leaving a white, powdery dust on his lips, as the doughnut completely disappears into Taehyung's mouth.

"I should-" Jeongguk starts.

"Oh, you're not going anywhere." Taehyung says, curling a hand into Jeongguk's shirt, pulling him in so their chests bump.

"We're in an engineering lab." Jeongguk breathes, as Taehyung's breath skims over his cheek, tantalizingly sweet.

Taehyung leans in, tongue teasing the edges of Jeongguk's lips."Well I've always wanted to-"

"NO FUCKING IN THE LAB." Someone shouts from the door, making both of them jolt, Jeongguk giving an embarrassing yelp. "SAFETY RULE 21!"

"Fuck you Hoseok!" Taehyung yells, but uncurls his hands from Jeongguk's shirt. "I'll meet you at my dorm." Taehyung sighs, running a hand through his hair. "Still got this shit to finish."

Jeongguk smiles playfully. "You only wanted me to be your doughnut delivery boy?"

"Well you were going to be more than that, until Hoseok decided to cock block." Taehyung pouts, nibbling at another doughnut. "Oh yeah." He digs into his pocket and throws something to Jeongguk, who catches it with a slight fumble. "These are my spare dorm keys if Yoongi isn't there. Just let yourself in. Keep them."

"Oh." Jeongguk says, staring at the key in his hand. “Thanks?”

Taehyung grins, but his eyes flick away as his hands skitter to rub at his neck shyly. "I won't be long, babe. Make yourself at home, do your homework, jack off, whatever."

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. "See you soon, Taehyung."

“Thanks for the doughnuts!” Taehyung says, poking his head from behind one of the machines.

“You still owe me like 70 blowjobs.” Jeongguk says, with a slight smirk.

Taehyung winks. “We’ll see.”

-

It's actually scary how easy it is to find Taehyung dorm, despite only going there when he’s fueled on the steady heat of alcohol and for nights filled with stolen kisses and quick fucks. Jeongguk hands curl around the doorknob, surprised when it twists easily.

"Hello?" He says, poking his head in.

"Oh heeeeeelll no." Is the reply he gets, and Jeongguk walks in to see a boy perched on one of the bed’s, a beanie atop a mess of red hair, pale, milky skin and a ratty t-shirt. The muffled, sound of music thumps from the earphones slung around his neck, and he looks utterly unimpressed at Jeongguk over his laptop.

"Hi?" Jeongguk says.

Yoongi merely raises an eyebrow. "So, you're the infamous Jeongguk huh?"

"You're... Yoongi right?"

"Yep." Yoongi squints at him. "Is Taehyung with you? Because, I'm really not into that exhibitionism crap just sayin’.'"

"No!" Jeongguk says quickly, heat flaming his cheeks. "Well he's coming soon."

Yoongi gives a depleted sigh, as he closes his laptop. "I would say it's nice to meet you but-"

Jeongguk stands awkwardly at the door as Yoongi slides off the bed, laptop tucked under his arm. "Um."

"You look like a startled deer." Yoongi grins, patting Jeongguk on the back as he makes his way towards the door. "I'm just playing, I'm not going to blame you for Taehyung's idiocy. Really, it is nice to finally meet you. Despite the circumstances."

Jeongguk blinks. "Thanks?"

Yoongi nods. "In all honesty, I'm pretty happy for you guys. Don't know how you can stand to be with him for more than two seconds but..." Yoongi shrugs.

Jeongguk doesn’t say anything to that, but Yoongi continues regardless as he’s making his way towards the door.

"Being the awesome roommate, I'll let you guys have the room tonight just-" he points a finger in warning. "Don't fuck on my bed, don't think I didn't hear you guys." And before Jeongguk can splutter out a reply, Yoongi's gone leaving Jeongguk standing in the middle of the room. He’s met two of Taehyung’s friends today, and both seem so startlingly different from each other, he doesn’t know what to think.

Maybe there’s still a lot to Taehyung that he doesn’t yet know. Jeongguk thinks as he looks around the room, letting his bag drop to the floor.

Jeongguk's been in Taehyung's room a few times, but to be fair he had been a little ... occupied. So he doesn't exactly get time to observe. Now, he's alone and it's like he's 7 again, in his older sisters room, fighting the urge to snoop around.

The room is more or less a mess, not much different from the thousands of dorms in the country. A pile of laundry piled up in the corner, a few sprawling wires , discarded paper, assignments and bits of metal littering the floor.

There are two tables, one Jeongguk suspects is Yoongi's, judging by the colourful array of music equipment and speakers. The other desk, is almost drowned in a stack of paper and bits and pieces of fiddly metal. All half finished and messy. Curiosity makes Jeongguk move towards it, fingers skimming over the desk.

Most of the paper, seems like half crinkled assignments, and worksheets that Taehyung had just dumped there. All in pretty bad condition, some wrinkled, other’s coffee stained. On them are messy and complicated equations that makes Jeongguk's head spin, Taehyung's writing is a mess of chicken scratch, his working out littered all over the page in a mess of smudged grey lead. In between the maths, there are little doodles; ridiculous ones, a little alien here, a fluffy cat there, smileys and things that seem to fuel Taehyung's distraction. Some are actually quite detailed, a sleeping cat, a grumpy Yoongi, the shaded shape of a robot. He’s quite talented.

With an amused grin, Jeongguk flicks to another piece of paper, this time filled with more sketches and calculations, crinkled and stained. There's slight scribbles of words on the corner, some making sense others don't, gibberish written on caffeine fueled nights. There are more sketches along the corners of the page. Though, this time they aren't cartoons.

There are lips, thin, pretty lips. and then a smooth expanse of a back curving down to meet a perky ass. A shoulder, broad and firm, dotted with the grey shadings of marks. The curve of hands, delicate knuckles, and slender fingers. Jeongguk stiffens, as he flicks into another page. More equations, more sketches. Intimate, personal sketches of a person Taehyung thinks about at night, during the messy tangle of equations.

There's something unfurling in his stomach, murky and dark enough to choke him. It takes him a while to realize that it's jealousy. The bitter burn in his throat. The acid bubbling in his stomach.

He lets the page fall from his fingers.

_He isn't just yours._

_He doesn't belong to you. You shouldn't be jealous._

But the way, Jeongguk's fists clench hard at his side, speaks differently.

_I wish. I want._

He doesn't finish those thoughts and walks away from the desk, sprawling himself down into Taehyung's bed. The sharp, smell of Taehyung surrounding him like suffocating smoke.

-

"Honey, I'm home!" Taehyung sing songs a while later, door swinging open. "Jeongguk? Where are- oh..." The words he were about to say completely trail off, lodging in his throat at the sight of Jeongguk, hair a wild mess, shirt already on the floor, pants hanging low on his hips, emphasizing the sharp v of his hips.

"You took your time." Jeongguk grins, as Taehyung's bag drops to the floor, scrambling onto the bed.

"And you are an asshole." Taehyung grits out, digging his fingers into Jeongguk's hips. "You don’t know the things _you do to me_." The words are messy and harried, as he presses his lips to the corner of his mouth, a hint of teeth and tongue.

Jeongguk sighs, curling his fingers in Taehyung's hair, falling into this easy game of give and take, take _take_. It's so familiar, the way Taehyung gasps, as he licks into his mouth, the rustling of clothes, the desperation and the pleasure. Jeongguk lets Taehyung do what he wants for a few muted minutes, but then he's moving to flip Taehyung onto the bed, pushing him hard into the mattress.

"I want to top today." Jeongguk says, pushing a hand down against Taehyung's shoulder.

Taehyung stares up with a little smirk. "Oh, I like it when you're dominant."

Jeongguk doesn't return the smile, and instead chooses to slowly unravel Taehyung with his fingers, drawing out shivery, broken moans, until Taehyung is a sobbing mess. Gasping his name, as Jeongguk watches him writhe on the sheets, want dripping from each inch of him.

“Jeongguk. Jeongguk. _Jeongguk_.”

"Again." Jeongguk says.

Taehyung's eyelids flutter shut, hips arching up to meet the curve of Jeongguk’s fingers. " _Jeongguk._ "

And for one second, it sounds like it's meant for him. But, then Jeongguk is pulling his fingers out, slipping the condom on and positioning himself in front of Taehyung's hips. Without warning, he pushes in as Taehyung gives a shattered moan, nails digging into the skin of Jeongguk's arms.

"Tell me how it feels, Taehyung." Jeongguk grits out as he thrusts out slowly before pushing back in with a sharp snap.

"You feel good, so good, please." Taehyung gasps. Jeongguk likes the way Taehyung looks like on the sheets, not sensual and put together like he usually is, like he's completely in control. But now he’s broken and dizzy and a hot mess. It gives Jeongguk a delicious sense of power, that he's the one that has Taehyung like this. All broken and needy and perfect. 

He has his eyes clenched shut, and in between the thrusts, Jeongguk fingers trail to Taehyung's cheek. "Look at me. I fuck you good don't I?"

'Yes." Taehyung gasps, blinking up at him, mouth a wet glistening red, panting and desperate. It's then, Jeongguk notices something on Taehyung's neck, the barest smudge of faded red. A mark. Soft, and dotting his otherwise smooth skin. Jeongguk’s eyes narrow, fingers clenching against Taehyung's hips and he begins to thrust into him, punishing and harsh, the loud, steady creak of the bed under him.

Anger, jealousy whatever that ugly thing is, tangles itself in between pleasure, until everything is red. Anger, Love. Lust. The marks Taehyung's nails leave. The pretty red of his cock. The dark red of his moans as Jeongguk snaps his hips to meet his.

"Come." Jeongguk says, a hand reaching to jerk Taehyung off. "Come. For. _Me._ " Each word accented by each harsh thrust.

"Babe." Taehyung gasps, a short breathy word, eyes fixed on Jeongguk's lips, moving up to hold his gaze. Steady and alluring and wrecked.

And with that, Jeongguk is coming, clenching his eyes shut so he doesn't have to see the way Taehyung's looking at him. He can still hear him, the familiar litany of shattered moans, and the sharp clench of Taehyung around him, as he spills over Jeongguk's fist.

"Fuck." Taehyung groans, arching his neck back into the pillow, and turns to Jeongguk, who watches with sated blinks. Smiling, wide and beautiful, and it makes Jeongguk's chest clench, turning away as he pulls out, tying off the condom.

Taehyung snuggles up to him, lips skimming over his shoulder. "You should top more often, you know. Fuck, you’re so-”

"We should clean up." Jeongguk cuts Taehyung off.. "There's still come everywhere."

Taehyung throws a leg over his. "Not yet." He mumbles, fingers tracing mindless shapes on his stomach.

"I-" Jeongguk starts, shifting from Taehyung's tangled limbs. "should probably go. I've got um work."

Taehyung looks up at him, all messy hair and lazy smiles. "Thought your exams were over? You can stay over, I don't mind." He shrugs.

"Nah." Jeongguk untangles himself from Taehyung, sitting up to reach over to the tissues, pressing them into Taehyung's hands. "It's okay. I'm busy."

Taehyung looks away then, wiping away at the mess on his stomach. "Kay. I'll call you then?" He says as Jeongguk slips on his clothes.

"Yeah." Jeongguk nods, turning to look at Taehyung who smiles, soft and gentle at the edges, Jeongguk hates the way it makes him want to crawl back into bed, and sleep the night away, Taehyung at his side. He doesn't though, and gives a nod, taking his bag and walking towards the door.

“Good night.” Jeongguk says, fingers faltering against the doorknob.

“Mm.” Taehyung makes an noncommittal noise, before Jeongguk is walking out, letting the door shut behind him with a satisfying click.

Behind closed doors, he gives a shuddering, broken sigh. Letting himself fall back against the door. He thinks about the feel of Taehyung under him. The red of his neck. The sketches that weren’t his to see.

They never were anything. But, still it makes jealousy rear it’s ugly head. Because the way Taehyung holds him, and fucks him, the marks that he leaves. the heavy flutters in his chest. _Doesn’t that make you his?_

Jeongguk fist clenches at his side, hard enough to leave little, bleeding crescents.

_You don't belong to him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's probably going to get angstier after this, bc ~feelings~ (an apology in advance for the next chapter) also we're more than halfway there so yay!  
> thanks to everyone who reads this, comments and leaves me kudos!! y'all are all so sweet and each get a jeongguk doughnut boy. uwu also this reached more than 100 kudos? THANK YOU SO MUCH ;U;
> 
> ideally this was going to be a huge oneshot, but the idea of writing anything more than 10k in one go stresses me out ;;. So i'm going to do a huge revision of this after it's finished c:


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All there was is Taehyung.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *gives you all cookies and tea* 
> 
> Have fun reading this <3
> 
> ( I'm on my iPad so I haven't had a chance it put italics in, sorry about that I'll do it asap)

Things changed after that, almost imperceptibly or maybe things had always been changing and Jeongguk had been too caught up in whatever they had to notice it. It wasn't just about sex anymore. It wasn't about just thinking about fucks and taking and pleasure; counting the hours until he could have Taehyung. It stopped being about the the loud moans and harried gasps, it started to be about the soft, sleepy smiles, the wide amused laughs and the sated blinks. 

When? When did it stop being about pleasure and start being about... this?

Jeongguk knows it's wrong. If wasn't supposed to be like this, wanting pointless things.

In the muted minutes after Jeongguk pulls out, and Taehyung slumps his head back, Jeongguk's fingers skim over the skin on his shoulders, gentle and soft. And in between sheets and the ache of muscles, just for the few minutes before he leaves,it feels that whatever they have, the warmth of Taehyung's breath on his cheek, the lazy smiles, it's theirs and theirs alone. But it's not, of course not.

_Because you can't lo- be with someone like Taehyung._

Taehyung limbs tangle with his, a brush of breath against his neck. And Jeongguk's chest hurts, like claws grazing over his skin, gentle but painful. _That's the thing right?_ Jeongguk thinks untangling himself from Taehyung's arms and sliding off the bed. _Wasn't pain and pleasure one and the same?_

"I'll see you." Jeongguk says, slipping on his shirt.

"Kay." Taehyung grins, and it's that smile, all teeth and crinkled eyes. And Jeongguk wants to capture it, make that smile his and his alone, but that would never happen of course. Taehyung is not only his. And that thought makes something bitter flare in his throat.

And as the door clicks shut, Jeongguk sighs. This wasn't good anymore. It wasn't fun, nor freedom and Jeongguk feels caged instead, breathless, trapped. In a continuous wave of meaningless fucks. It shouldn't matter. It really shouldn't. No one cares about two college boys tangled in a mess of sex and something else. No one cares about the way Jeongguk wants, the harsh flutter in his chest. There are millions of lovers in this world, and why do they matter? Not that what they had was love.

It _doesn't_. Jeongguk thinks, making his way into the inky darkness, back to his dorm. _Why do you care?_ A tug in his chest, and Jeongguk's footsteps still, eyes clenching shut, fists shaking at his sides.

His fingers scrub harshly over the mark on his neck that Taehyung left with sharp bites, until it burns, hot and red under his fingers. And he wipes and wipes as if it's a stain on his skin. But all it does is make it darken, redder and burning hot.

"Fuck." Jeongguk says, slumping against the wall. _I'm not- I'm not yours_.

But Jeongguk hasn't fucked anyone else. All there was is Taehyung, the marks that were his, the fingers digging into his hips. The moans and dreams, they were Taehyung's.

He leans against the wall, scrubbing a hand over his face harshly before taking out his phone. Jimin. Jeongguk texts with trembling fingers. _Can we go out tonight?_ It's late so Jeongguk's not expecting a reply, it doesn't matter ethier way, he's going out regardless.

The reply is almost instant though. _KOOKIE! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN AND HELL YES!!!!_

Jeongguk smiles. _the usual one?_

-

It's half an hour when Jimin arrives, Namjoon in tow. Jeongguk manages a smile.

"JEONGGUK!" Jimin says, launching himself into Jeongguk's arms. "I'VE MISSED YOU!"

Jeongguk laughs. "Get off me Jimin, this is embarassing."

Namjoon ruffles his hair playfully, lips splitting into a grin. "Yeah, I've missed you too kid, where you been? You're not neglecting us now are you?"

"I've been... Busy." Jeongguk says, at that Jimin pouts.

"After midterms?" He huffs.

Jeongguk shrugs. Namjoon just shakes his head, throwing his arms around the two's shoulders. "Well, let's do some catching up then?"

"SHOTS!" Jimin screeches.

"You are so embarrassing." Jeongguk shakes his head. He wasn't exactly here for shots , they don't know that yet though.

-

Music pounds, loud and bright from the speakers. When usually it would have Jeongguk dancing, laughing careless and free; today all it does is give him a headache. He completely bypasses the mosh pit to go to the bar, only relaxing when the first shot rolls down his throat with a bitter scrape.

Namjoon slides next to him, elbows knocking against his playfully. "So, what you been doing lately?" He grins, sipping at his glass.

Jeongguk shrugs. "Study and stuff."

Namjoon raises an amused eyebrow. "Or really should I be asking who you've been doing instead. You still doing that thing with Taehyung?"

Jeongguk's fingers clench against the cold glass of his drink. "Yeah"

"How's that going?"

"It's... Fine." Jeongguk says, managing a tiny smile.

"Oh?" Namjoon doesn't sound convinced. "Then why are you here then?"

Jeongguk knocks his head back to down his drink, before turning to Namjoon. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Jeongguk." Namjoon gives him a look.

"What? Can't I go out for a few drinks with my friends?"

"You've been looking at the bartender like you want to eat him." Namjoon laughs.

"Yeah so?" Jeongguk says. "Can't I fuck other people?"

Namjoon shrugs. "The last time you came here you to fuck someone and you ended up leaving with Taehyung again."

"He's my fuck buddy."

"Jeongguk." Namjoon sighs.

"What?"

"Look, it's really none of my business." Namjoon says gently. "But after Taehyung you've been-"

" I know. I fucking know. That's why I'm here okay?" Jeongguk cuts him off, more harsh than he meant to. Namjoon turns to stare at him, a sad smile on his face. And when he talks it's so soft it almost gets lost in the music of the club.

"Then Jeongguk, what are you trying to prove?"

"I..." He falters. "I don't want-"

Namjoon is patient. "You should talk to him."

"Look." Jeongguk's voice is low and dangerous, his fingers dig into his palms. "Not everyone can be like you and fucking Seokjin got it? It doesn't, we don't work like that. I'm just selfish, I'm-"

"Jeongguk, it's not selfish to want more it's-"

"We were never meant to be more." Jeongguk says, and it surprises him that it doesn't even sound angry , just resigned and pathetic. And when he turns to look at Namjoon he looks lost, eyebrows furrowed.

"I'm sorry." Is all he manages, a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah." Jeongguk says. "Now if you don't mind.."

Namjoon's mouth opens and then closes like he's not sure what to say. And then he just gives a short nod. "Okay, Jeongguk. Just stay safe got it?"

Jeongguk roughly wipes the glistening sheen of alcohol from his lips. "Yeah." He says, before turning away, pulling from the bar, into the suffocating masses of dancing bodies.

-

Jeongguk finds someone pretty. He has red, plump lips and eyes slicked with dark eyeliner,leather pants tight around firm thighs. And when he smiles it's smoky and seductive as he presses Jeongguk against the bar, hips flush against each other.

"What's your name?" The stranger says into his ear. And Taehyung's voice echoes in his head, like that very first night. The stranger, this stranger grins and Jeongguk holds his gaze with a lingering smirk.

"What's yours?" Jeongguk asks instead.

He smiles, a sharp, intimidating set of perfect teeth. "Call me Dae."

"Well, Dae. Do you want to get out of here?"

Dae's lips split into a wide, blinding grin.

-

Sex is mostly all the same. But the way Dae pushes him into the wall, the way he claws at his clothes and the way his fingers grasp at his chin is so scarily unfamiliar that Jeongguk stiffens when his hands find their way to his belt.

"You've done this before yeah?" Dae asks, between kisses.

"Yes." Jeongguk growls. It's just he's so used to the game Taehyung and him play that this seems new in itself. Dae laughs then and bites down on his bottom lip.

Jeongguk hisses in pain and yanks Dae's head back. "Let's take this to the bed hm?"

Dae laughs. "Not into wall sex?"

Jeongguk doesn't return the smile and pushes Dae down onto the bed, hands pressing hard into his chest.

"Oh." Dae breathes. "Just saying, I'm topping."

"Whatever." Jeongguk says.

They end up fucking against the headboard, Jeongguk giving harsh breathless gasps as Dae rolls his hips down. Pleasure claws at his stomach like smoke, dark and thick and suffocating.

"Leave marks." Jeongguk gasps.

Dae bites down against Jeongguk's shoulders. "You like that huh?"

"Yes." Jeongguk says, and turns his head away to give him better access.

And when the thrusts quicken, Jeongguk squeezes his eyes shut. Fire and smoke clogging his throat until he can't breathe. And when his eyes flutter, it's not wolfish grins and tan skin that's smirking down at him. It's red lips and soft skin and a sweet smile and a gentle sigh against his ear.

"Come for me, Jeongguk." A familiar voice echoing in his head until it hurts.

"Fuck." Jeongguk says in a breathless gasp. "Fuck fuck."  Jeongguk arches his hips as he comes with a shivery gasp, digging his fingers into the mattress. He keeps his eyes closed, light hair and dark eyes and sweet lips.

He hears Dae give a low groan as he comes into the condom, nails breaking into his skin, leaving little droplets of red behind. He pulls out as Jeongguk lets his head fall back into the headboard with a small sigh.

"Good?" Dae asks. Jeongguk doesn't open his eyes, but manages a short nod, and Dae gives a small laugh.

"That was fun." Dae says, slipping off the bed. Jeongguk doesn't watch him, eyes fixed on trembling fingers. It's silent save for the sound of rustling clothes.

"Nice fucking you I guess?" Dae says when he's changed.

Jeongguk doesn't say anything to that at first, before turning to Dae with the barest hint of a smile. "...yeah."

And with a wide smile, Dae is gone, the door shutting close with a loud thump.

Jeongguk immerses himself in silence for a while, come drying on his skin, the air cold against his stomach. It's a good ten minutes when he finally moves, shakily running a hand across his stomach. His skin crawls, an unpleasant sensation dragging across his skin. He feels dirty, so fucking dirty. Jeongguk slides off his bed slowly and goes to take a shower, legs shaking as he walks down the hallway.

Under the hot, painful spray, Jeongguk shivers, a hand clenched to his side, breath coming out in bitter, harsh heaves. He scrubs harshly at his skin, scrubbing and scraping until it's a startling bright red, wiping at the teeth marks until they burn under the spray. But no matter how hard he scrubs, he stills feels _so fucking dirty_.

 _Nothing has changed_. Jeongguk thinks afterwards as he's sitting in the dorm hallway alone; a towel thrown over his dripping hair, droplets scattering onto his shirt and dripping down his chin. But yet he still reaches for his phone with shaking hands, the white numbers flashing a 3:43 am on his screen.

He scrolls through the contacts. He picks a number and it calls, the dial tone ringing loud in his ear.

It rings eight times. No one picks up.

 _Please leave a message after the beep_.

"Tae." Jeongguk gasps, a hand pressed to his damp forehead, as he trails off, words falling down his throat. "Just, just call me okay?"

-

Jeongguk wakes up to a screeching alarm, and exhaustion clawing at his limbs, thick and heavy, dragging him down onto the sheets. It's takes a lot of effort to even reach over to silence the loud blare of his alarm, and when it's finally quiet again he rolls onto his side and goes straight back to sleep. Fuck classes. Fuck everything.

The next time he wakes it's from the loud ping of his phone, with bleary eyelids he grabs it, blinking away the sleep.

 _You called?_ Is the text that flashes along the screen and Jeongguk chest thumps erratically in his chest.

 _Nah, it's nothing_ Jeongguk texts back instead with quick taps.

_You sure? Where are you now?_

In my dorm? And only a mere seconds later the phone rings, vibrating in his hands. Jeongguk startles, sitting up against his headboard, staring as the phone rings once and twice, before he presses accept.

"Um." Jeongguk clears his throat. 'Hey?"

"Yeah hey!" Taehyung voice rings from the phone, bright and clear. "You wanted me to call?"

Jeongguk runs a hand through his hair, regret uncoiling in his stomach. "Yeah it's fine don't worry about it."

"You sure...?" Taehyung sounds strangely concerned . "You sounded... Kind of stressed. And it was late as."

"No." Jeongguk sighs. "I'm sorry for bothering you."

"Nah it's cool." Taehyung says.

"Ok." Jeongguk says. "where are you now?"

"Just finished classes!" Taehyung chirps.

"Do you..." Jeongguk hesitates. "Do you, I mean, are you busy?"

"Yes! I mean, no I'm not busy." Taehyung says so fast the words run together. " Can I come over?"

A hint of a smile plays at the edges of Jeongguk's lips. "Yeah okay, I'm not not doing anything." He shrugs.

"Fuck yeah." Taehyung says. "I'll see you soon, yeah?"

Just a booty call, nothing more, nothing less.

"Yeah." Jeongguk says softly as he hangs up, listening to the dial tone ring in his ear, over and over again.

-

Jeongguk doesn't know why he's nervous; a hot, steady flutter under his chest, lodged in his throat. It was just casual sex, a booty call. And if there are still lingering marks from the night before, Taehyung probably won't give a fuck. Jeongguk lets those words ring in his head over and over again, even when the door sounds with three sharp knocks, opening to reveal a grinning Taehyung, bright and careless, pulling Jeongguk in for a brief kiss.

"Hey babe." Taehyung says, fingers flitting under his shirt to press against his stomach. And Jeongguk repeats those thoughts even when he traces soft burning touches across the strip of skin.

Nothing more, nothing less.

"Hi." Jeongguk says, and when Taehyung smiles, Jeongguk can't help but return it.

Taehyung fingers dig into his skin, hard enough for Jeongguk to shiver before he's turning away, lounging himself down on Jeongguk's bed. "Did you just get up?" Taehyung says around the mess of blankets. "Don't you have classes?"

Jeongguk shrugs. "Yeah. I wasn't feeling up for it."

Taehyung squints at him, nose scrunched up cutely. "You're not sick are you?"

Jeongguk makes his way towards the bed, shedding off his shirt while he's at it. "No. I'm not." He says dragging Taehyung by his shirt and pulling him up into a kiss. Taehyung gives a slight whimper, rolling his hips up smoothly.

"Yeah." He murmers against his mouth, around the curve of Jeongguk's lips. His hips arch into a sharp snap. "Fuck yes."

They end up with clothes tangled on the floor and Jeongguk between Taehyung's parted legs, his cock standing hard against his stomach. Jeongguk swallows, fingers trailing down Taehungs thighs, leaving lingering touches before he curls them around his cock, drawing out short stuttering thrusts with slow, slick tugs.

"Hey." Taehyung's fingers curl in Jeongguks hair, tugging. "Suck me off." 

Jeongguk pauses, fingers stilling."I..."

Taehyung smirks. "You haven't given a blow job before?"

Jeongguk wrinkles his nose. "Once, drunk. Nearly stabbed my eye."

Taehyung laughs at that, wide and carefree while Jeongguk just blinks stupidly, because Taehyung's cock is still around his fingers while his chest is shaking in laughter.

"Um."

"Nah, nah it's okay!" Taehyung laughs. "Just do whatever, you're a fucking phenomenal kisser, sucking dick isn't much different."

"Okay." Jeongguk says, swiping a tongue over his lips.

Taehyung nods, fingers gentle in his hair. "I'll talk you through it just- FUCK!" Because suddenly Jeongguks lips were on him, wet and warm, hips stuttering.

"Hey." Jeongguk says, pulling out with a dirty pop, voice raw. "You're going to... going to make me choke."

"Oh fuck." Taehyung says squeezing his eyes shut. "Shit sorry. Less talking and more sucking please."

"I am not deepthroating you." Jeongguk rolls his eyes. Taehyung cracks open an eyelid.

"Look can you just, oh-"

Jeongguks fingers dig into his thighs, trailing up and down when he sucks him off slow and hesitant, tongue trailing down to thumb at his slit. Taehyung legs shudders against the sheets, fingers trembling.

"You should, you really should do this more ah-" often Taehyung breathes as Jeongguk licks a stripe against the underside of his cock. Jeongguk couldn't disagree. It felt so illicit. The hot heavy weight of Taehyung cock in his mouth, the taste of him in his tongue, his slight gasps drawn out with each suck. He loves it.

"Hey I'm..." Taehyung trails off, hands gripping the sheets until his knuckles turn a stark white. "I'm going to, going to come." Jeongguk merely hums a response and that's enough to have Taehyung give a sharp exhale, hips bucking up as Jeongguk pulls out at the very last second, wrinkling his nose as come hits his chest, dripping down his chin.

"Ew." Jeongguk frowns. Taehyung doesn't reply, apparently a puddle of loose limbs and sleepy blinks on the bed. "Fuck, you're so, so..." The words trail off in a yawn.

Jeongguk moves up Taehyung's body, lips dipping to his neck. "I'm still hard you know."

Taehyung fingers flit over the corner of his mouth, wiping at the come on his cheek, Jeongguk feels him smile. "Well I should probably pay you back no?"

-

Afterwards, Jeongguk is sprawled onto the bed, Taehyung draped over him, fingers tracing mindless patterns on his shoulders. Jeongguk is on the teetering brink of sleep when Taehyung talks, fingers stilling against his shoulders.

"What is this?" His fingers press against a red mark. The words are so quiet that Jeongguk almost misses them. He wants to ignore him or to scrub away the marks until they bleed or completely disappear. He doesn't do ethier of those though.

Instead, he shrugs. "I went out yesterday."

Taehyung doesn't say anything at first, and Jeongguk is focused on the way his fingers feel against his skin, "Oh, okay. " he says eventually. Jeongguk doesn't know what it means.

He turns to Taehyung, who's looking at him through his eyelashes. "It's not like..." Jeongguk hesitates. _it's not like I belong to you._

_Right?_

Taehyung shrugs. "Yeah." He says, as he presses a biting kiss against his shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SORRY PROMISE THEYLL HAVE THIER HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!!
> 
> Anyways thank you for all the sweet words and support <33 (nearly 200 kudos omg????) 
> 
> If you have any questions or anything message me at my writing blog maknaie.tumblr.com


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They don't stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ARE YOU GUYS READY FOR A ROLLERCOASTER RIDE? KEEP YOUR LIMBS INSIDE THE RIDE AT ALL TIMES!
> 
> THIS IS BASICALLY THE LAST CHAPTER, I'LL WRITE A SHORT OT7 EPILOGUE SOON

They don't stop.

Jeongguk almost expected him to call things off, and how stupid of a thought is that? I mean, why would he even care of the small insignificant things Jeongguk wants to prove? Making it all seem like it means something, anything or nothing at all.

It doesn't matter in the end though.

Because they still have sex. Just sex.

Jeongguk finds it ironic. Wasn't that he wanted though at the very start? Wasn't this all they were? After all, what they have, the grins, and slow thrusts, and tangled fingers, it's all just a bitter shadow of what really was. Sex. Nothing more, nothing less.

But yet, why is he so fucking unsatisfied. Scrabbling at hard brick walls until his fingers bleed?

Jeongguk knows he should stop, it's not good for him. Sometimes it’s like the hint of a smile is like a peek of the sun behind thick, cloudy moans and thrusts and hard fucks. Wishing.

He should stop. He needs to stop. But every time Jeongguk wants to bring it up, wants to say something, Taehyung seems to swallow every single unspoken word with his mouth, making Jeongguk moan until his thoughts are a mess, and he forgets his own name.

And the more it goes in, the more Jeongguk feels like he's losing Taehyung, the one with stupid jokes, and observations, wide grins and crinkled eyes. The bed is always cold, and his marks sting and sting.

"You can't keep doing this." Namjoon says, carding gentle fingers through his hair. "It's not healthy, you're..." He trails off, and Jeongguk doesn't even bother to look at him.

"I know." Jeongguk sighs, fingers trembling against the phone. "I know." _But I can't stop._

_I don't want to._

_I mean, it's better than nothing right?_

-

Jeongguk's walking out of his lecture,  head bent down, tapping at his phone when he feels someone's hand grasp at his collar, pushing him harshly into the wall.

"What the fuck!" Jeongguk hisses, as his back is pressed hard into the brick, digging painfully. Jeongguk blinks as someone leans in closer, eyes narrowed into slits. " _Hoseok?"_

" _You."_ Hoseok says softly, dangerous and thin. He looks furious, and it's such a stark contrast from the wide, smiley Hoseok he's met a few weeks ago that he's almost unrecognizable

"What the fuck are you doing!" Jeongguk says, pushing him away. "Do you just go around shoving people into walls?"

Hoseok exhales, cornering him when he tries to move. "You cheated on him didn't you?"

Jeongguk stiffens. "What?"

"I said, did you cheat on him?"

Jeongguk leans back into the wall, holding Hoseok's gaze, steady and hard. "You're talking about Taehyung right?"

"Who else?" Hoseok bites.

Jeongguk laughs then, he can't help it, a hot vicious, bubbling in his throat. "Why are you assuming I cheated on him? When we're not even together in the fucking first place hm?"

Hoseok fists find their way into Jeongguk's shirt again, his grip is harsh and unrelenting, and he leans close enough for Jeongguk feel his breath run hot down his neck. "Don't give me that shit."

" _We're not together Hoseok_." Jeongguk says, like he's thought many. many times before. "And who do you think you are? You don't know me."

Hoseok pauses, and slowly, very gingerly unravels his fingers from Jeongguk's shirt and takes two tiny steps backwards.  "And I don't think you know Taehyung either."

Jeongguk crosses his arms, raising an eyebrow. "And you know what I think hm?”

"Oh, believe me I have an idea. You think he's some sort of slut,  like he doesn't give a crap about you or anyone."

Jeongguk doesn't say anything to that at first, fingers faltering at his side. "I didn't say-"

"It's what everyone thinks." Hoseok shrugs. "It's what he wants everyone to think anyways."

"I don't, I- we were never more than friends with benefits..."

"Maybe." Hoseok says, voice grim. "But do you know how many people Taehyung has slept with as long as you? How many people he's slept with while he was with you?"

Jeongguk's face hardens.

"Zero." Hoseok says, spelling the word out slow.

"What are you trying to say Hoseok?" Jeongguk laughs, a harsh bitter sound. "That what? I'm special, that he loves me?"

Hoseok’s gaze is unwavering. "Yes."

"You're fucking hilarious." But Jeongguk can't seem to stop the steady thump of his chest. it's hope he realizes, deliciously dangerous.

"Jeongguk, you seem like a good guy really. But please. Taehyung has a heart, and don't you dare fucking break it." Hoseok doesn't even sound angry anymore, just pleading and sad.

"Like I could!" Jeongguk spits. "You don't understand what we had, it's not what you think it is!"

"Oh?" Hoseok says. "He rarely lets anyone in his dorm, and he fucking sketches you. You!" Jeongguk almost falters at that, almost. .

"So? I sketch when I'm bored too, it's not love!"

"What are you looking for then? A fucking bathtub full of roses or a fucking marriage proposal? I've known Taehyung for years and if this isn't the closest thing to love I've ever seen then I don't know what is!" He says this in all one harried breath, and when he's done he stares at Jeongguk with a certain desperation, chest heaving.

Jeongguk doesn't know what to say to that. His heart beats in his chest, loud until it hammers in his ears and tears down his ribs. _Hope. Hope. Hope._ It's so dangerous, but Jeongguk can't help but wish that maybe it was all true. That cold beds and harsh blinding fucks meant more than they should.

"Just fix this." Hoseok says softly when Jeongguk drops his gaze. "Talk to him. He's more... more fragile than you think."

And when Jeongguk gives a short nod, Hoseok smiles.

-

 

It's Taehyung who texts him first. Hoseok's words had rang in his head over and over again. But every time he reaches for his phone, he hesitates. 

So when Jeongguk gets a text one morning. _can I come over?_ Jeongguk agrees. It's just a booty call, a simple text just like the countless one's they've shared in the past months. Promising nothing more than sex.

Jeongguk can't help but think it's going to be different this time though.

It should be embarrassing how quickly Jeongguk's heart thumps when he opens the door to a smiling Taehyung, wild and flighty.

"Hey." Taehyung grins.

"Hey yourself." Jeongguk says, pulling Taehyung into the room.

It’s quick like always, straight to the point as Taehyung slips his fingers into his belt loops, pressing hungry kisses against his lips. It would be easy to just give in, fuck and talk later, taste and take. Just like they do every time.

But this time he stiffens, and when Jeongguk doesn’t return the kisses he litters across his neck, Taehyung pulls back with a frown.

"You okay dude? Because..." He trails off when Jeongguk's lips part, as if to say something, he wasn’t sure how to pronounce.

"I..." Jeongguk hesitates, as Taehyung watches him expectantly. "I don't want to do this anymore."

Taehyung doesn't seem surprised, but he does deflate a little, breathing out a shaky exhale, before running a hand through his hair. "Yeah, I kind of saw it coming. Don't worry about it. It was fun while it lasted I guess." Taehyung says, giving a slight smile, and when he pulls away Jeongguk instinctively wants to lean forward and pull him into a kiss again.

"No!" Jeongguk says, and Taehyung's gaze flicks up to meet his. "I mean, I wanted to stop _doing this_."

Taehyung frowns. "This? I don't- what are you talking about?”

"I want..." Jeongguk trails off, and for once, he finishes that thought. _I want you_. The words burn in his throat though, so instead he scoots closer to Taehyung and leans in until his breath brushes his cheek.

"Jeongguk." Taehyung says softly, eyelids fluttering. "What are you-"

Jeongguk doesn't hear what he has to say though, because he's leaning in to press a gentle, chaste kiss against the corner of his mouth, fingers moving up to cradle his face.

Taehyung stiffens.

He doesn't push him away. He doesn't kiss him back. He... doesn't do anything.

It's strange, kissing someone who used to return it with feverish biting moans and gasps and lips, and now they're just stationary, cautious, so scarily unfamiliar. It feels like forever before Taehyung pulls away, and pushes him back with a gentle fingers.

Jeongguk's ribs feel like they are shattering in his stomach, jutting into his chest.

He fucked up. He fucked up. He fucked up.

"Jeongguk..." Taehyung trails off.

"I'm sorry." Jeongguk stares down at the bed. "We weren't- I fucked up. I shouldn't have..."

"No!" Taehyung says, reaching for Jeongguk's hand, who flinches away. "We didn't clarify. It’s okay.” And when Jeongguk doesn’t turn to look at him, Taehyung continues. “I’m just not looking for a relationship that’s all.”

Jeongguk turns to look at Taehyung, and he can’t help it, but his face hardens, voice slicing and harsh. " Is that it? You don't want a relationship? You can't just-"

"Can't what?"

Jeongguk's fingers dig into the bed sheets, and anger flares, bright and fiery. "Can't do all this, all those months and say _you don't want a fucking relationship_ , it doesn't work like that!"

"I'm sorry. I shouldn’t have led you on, I didn’t mean to. " Taehyung says calmly, so scarily emotionless.

Jeongguk's fingers shake, and his vision blurs into a mess of white and black and red, desperation clouding the edges. "You _can’t!_ Hoseok he said- You can’t. You can't lie about these things.” And when Taehyung doesn't open his mouth, Jeongguk continues.  “You’re just too fucking scared, you coward, _fucking coward_. “ His voice shatters against the air like thin glass.

Taehyung doesn't flinch. He doesn't say anything at all, until he leans in to wrap his fingers around Jeongguk's fist. "I’m sorry. I’m sorry." The words are so soft Jeongguk nearly misses them to the thumping in his ears. “I’m sorry.” His voice doesn’t shake. He doesn’t tremble. He’s calm.

Jeongguk's vision blurs with something, anger, desperation, and so much red. He scrunches his eyes shut, exhales and trembling fingers, pulls away. "I think you should go." He says quietly. 

Taehyung nods and gets up towards the door. His fingers hesitate at the knob before turning to Jeongguk again. He looks sad, resigned. "Jeongguk, what you and I want... It's different."

Jeongguk feels the harsh bite of his nails against his palm. "You're lying to yourself." he snaps.

There's a brief, heavy moment of silence before the reply comes. "Maybe." And with that Taehyung is gone

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Jeongguk shouts, long after the door had swung shut with a soft click.

-

It feels like he's going through a breakup, a fucking break up. And isn’t that fucking hilarious, missing something that wasn’t ever there? He’s wrapped in a blanket, surrounded by spoons of melted ice cream, knees huddled to the chest, an old re-run playing in the background. He doesn’t cry.

It's stupid. It was all fucking stupid. He was right all along. None of it mattered in the end.

Jeongguk lets himself act like a lovesick teenager for all but one night, before he tries to get his shit together. He wakes up at 6. Goes for a run. Goes to class. Goes for another run. Until he's tired enough to fall headfirst into the bed. It's good. He's fine.

Completely and utterly fine.

 _"i'm sorry. he's an idiot. i'm sorry."_ is the text he gets from an unknown number a few days later. Jeongguk knows who it is, and he pretends to not notice the way his hand shakes, the way his fingers tremble, the way Jimin looks at him like he wants to say something. He doesn't though, and his stare burns holes into Jeongguk’s back.

Jeongguk kisses other people. But they taste like ashes on his tongue, like the aftermath of the fire Taehyung and him created, leaving behind nothing but smoking remains. He flinches when he feels hands grab his, and the music is suffocating and pounding. He finds himself huddled against the wall, breath coming out in puffs of white air.

"Jeongguk." Is all Jimin can say as he leans down to pull him up, the word holds weight, like there’s so much else he wants to say. "Jeongguk."

Jeongguk shivers against him. "I shouldn't have- I fucked up Jimin. Really badly."

"No. You didn't." Jimin says. "It'll be okay."

Jeongguk nods.

"Let's go get ice cream and hot chocolate yeah? I shouldn't have taken you here, it doesn't solve anything." Jimin smile kindly.

"Okay."

A week. Two. Three. It eventually gets better. A little anyways. He sees Taehyung around campus, he's never looking at him. Cautious and flighty, like one step could send him spiraling out of control.

Jeongguk tries to forget. Wants to. But he can't seem to be able to. The feel of his hair under fingers, the red of his lips, the curve of his hips and shoulders and neck and-

He doesn't want to think anymore. So he loses himself in work and college and his friends until Taehyung is just the lasting thought he has when he's alone, in the dark inky blackness of his thoughts at night.

Not that useless thoughts were any use. After all, hope was the most dangerous thing of all.

-

It's pitch black, save for the slight shine of his nightside lamp. Jeongguk is curved over his desk, littered with assignments and empty brown cups of coffee, an half eaten apple rolling across the table.

Jeongguk's just blinking away the edges of sleep, focusing on the blurry black words of his paper, when his phone screen shines. A notification flashes across the screen, a slight ping. Jeongguk doesn't think too much on it, leaning in to grab it, expecting it to be a sleep deprived Jimin.

When the name Tae shines on the screen, the phone drops from his hand, clattering to the floor with a thunderous thump.

"Fuck." Jeongguk hisses, leaning down to scrabble for his phone. His phone dings once, and then again, as he brings it up to his face with shaking fingers.

He swipes.

_im sorry - 2;30am_

Is the first message there. The cloud buffers at the bottom, and it's completely terrifying. It stops and then starts again. Jeongguk waits.

 _but- 2:32 am_ Jeongguk's breath halts in his throat.

_i think - 2:33_

_i want to- 2:35_

Even after all these weeks, hope flares, bright and blinding, even under the painful thump of his chest. He waits. The night hesitates. And It feels like forever when his phone finally dings with a reply.

The phone almost slides from his fingers.

_try this- 2:38am_

_with you- 2:38am_

Jeongguk can't help himself, his fingers flit across the screen before he can even think.

 _don't do this if you're not serious. please. I can't. - 2:39am_ I want it too.

it's a few minutes later when he finally gets a reply.

_can we meet up? 2:42am_

There are endless different reasons for Jeongguk to say no. To not go.

But Jeongguk couldn't really ever say no to Taehyung.

 

-

The night is a gentle silence, a velvet dark black when Jeongguk steps outside, wind biting against his cheeks.

The streetlights blink at him, taunting and blinding. And with each footstep, Jeongguk's chest constricts. He doesn't know if it's desperation or hope or anything anymore. Maybe it was just Taehyung.

He sees Taehyung before Taehyung sees him, leaning against the corner of a semi-lit street, dressed in a ratty hoody, hands clenched around a bunch of crinkled flowers. Jeongguk's exhales sharply, and it's then that Taehyung sees him, all dark circles and wide smiles.

_Beautiful._

But Jeongguk doesn't show it, shoving his hands in his pockets and begins to walk with steady steps. "Hey." His breath is white against the night.

"Hello." Taehyung breathes, and it's soft and absolutely elated, and right there and then Jeongguk's shoulders threaten to crumple, to fold into the fragile petals of the flowers in Taehyung's hands.

"What do you want?" Jeongguk says. He's proud of the way his voice doesn't shake. Proud of the way his hands don't tremble.

"I-" Taehyung hesitates. “I just wanted to talk."

"Well?" Jeongguk folds his arms. "Talk."

Taehyung's head drops, figure frail in his overgrown hoody. "I just, maybe you don't even want to hear this. But I'm sorry." And when Jeongguk doesn't reply, he continues. "You were right. I'm scared. I'm so fucking scared. I'm not, I can't seem to do people right you know. I either fuck them up, or they fuck me over-" Taehyung smiles, small and broken."-and I don't want that to happen to us, to me, or you. Because you don't deserve it." He gives a short sigh, breath brushing Jeongguk's cheek. "I never meant for us to become anything more, for me to fall in love-”

"Love?" Jeongguk cuts in, eyes wide.

"I'm sorry." Taehyung rambles. “I didn’t-”

“You love me?” Jeongguk breathes.

Taehyung nods, quick and short, ducking his head down.

Jeongguk steps closer, and Taehyung catches his gaze through his eyelashes. "I think we're both idiots, don't you think?" Jeongguk says.

Taehyung for once, seems lost for words. "I-"

"You're an idiot." Jeongguk says. "And what the fuck I love you too and your stupid robots."

Taehyung's eyes crinkle. "Shit, that's the most romantic thing ever."

"Are you, are we going to try this?" Jeongguk says into the space between their mouths.

Taehyung hesitates. “I’m scared. Really fucking scared. But i’m selfish I know so I want to try this.” he presses the flowers gently into his hand. “With you.”

Jeongguk leans in and  breathes the barest brush of a kiss against his lips. "I want to too. And we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Hell, maybe we'll even get married and adopt two kids and three dogs."

Taehyung laughs, a small, shy sound. "I'm allergic to dogs." He murmurs into Jeongguk's shoulders.

"Five kids then." Jeongguk says. At that, Taehyung laughs and rests his forehead against his, the very slightest moment of hesitance before Jeongguk kisses him, soft and gentle. 

They stay like that for a while, just them, the crinkled flowers and the cold brush of air and the warmth of little kisses.

It’s Jeongguk that breaks the silence. “Hey, I think you owe me a coffee date after all these months.”

And when Taehyung laughs, it shines brighter than the wide expanse of stars above them.

 

-

Spoiler: they don’t actually end up getting coffee (Not that night anyways.)

The walk back to Jeongguk’s dorm is slow, sleepy but comforting. Taehyung’s hand in is, the other wrapped around the flowers.

And when he unlocks the door, Taehyung doesn’t kiss him at first, he intertwines their fingers, and under the gentle sheen of the moonlight sloping curving across his cheeks, Jeongguk leans in to kiss him. Softly, gently, like it means something. Taehyung shakes under his lips, hands reaching up to grasp his face.

In the past few months they’ve done some dirty things, moaned some raunchy words and fucked hard and fast. A familiar rhythm and fire they’ve built and destroyed. Tonight, it’s not exactly unfamiliar, just different, like each touch and smile, and gentle kiss are words Jeongguk don’t  know how to say.

“You’re so beautiful.” Jeongguk breathes, reaching in to mouth at Taehyung’s neck.

Taehyung’s eyelids flutter. “Jeongguk, I want-”

“Tell me.” Jeongguk whispers across Taehyung’s neck.

“You.” Taehyung’s eyes slip closed, lips parting as Jeongguk sucks a mark against the curve of his neck.

Jeongguk laughs, a gentle huff of breath against his skin, and kisses a trail to Taehyung’s mouth, sighing when Taehyung completely melts into him. It’s not exactly slow, still frantic, still fiery, still stifled moans and moving hands. But this time, it’s an even give and take, tug and pull, a sort of balance.

They kiss and kiss, just kiss until arousal almost burns itself through Jeongguk’s skin and he leads him to the bed, pushing Taehyung down, before leaning to press biting kisses again.

“Fuck.” Taehyung hisses, as Jeongguk grinds down sharply. “Please. Please _Jeongguk_.”

“Wait.” Jeongguk says, undressing Taehyung with slow, hesitant movements. His fingers running softly over his chest, thighs and shoulders. Mouthing across the expanse of skin, until it’s dotted with tiny marks, and Taehyung is squirming under him, all wet and needy.

 _“Jeongguk.”_ Taehyung begs as Jeongguk finally fists his neglected cock, watching through hooded eyes as Jeongguk slicks him up, all while getting him off with slow, slick tugs with a deliberate, careful concentration.

Taehyung was a complete, panting mess, legs parted by the time clothes litter the floor and Jeongguk rolls the condom on, positioning himself at Taehyung’s hips.

“You ready?” Jeongguk says, and when Taehyung nods, he slowly slides in, a breathless gasp escaping his lips at the sudden burst of pleasure. “Oh, fuck you feel, _you feel so good_.” Jeongguk breathes.

“Jeongguk, please. _Move_.” Taehyung gasps, fingers grasping into the sheets.

So Jeongguk does. It’s not ferociously fast, like the times before. This time it’s a little slower, the steady drawn out roll of hips, relishing in the closeness, the way Taehyung throws his head back, the way his cheeks flush a deep pink, of the way he feels and looks under him.

Taehyung rolls his hips back to meet Jeongguk’s slow thrusts. He doesn’t look away. “Babe.” he breathes “You’re so, god- amazing. You feel perfect. ” He arches his hips up in a broken moan.

“Are you going to come?” Jeongguk growls, as his thrusts quicken, fingers hard enough to bruise against his hips. _Mine._

“Babe, I’m going to- I’m.” His hips snap sharply to meet another harsh thrust. “going to come, _you’re going to make me come_.”

Jeongguk smiles. “Then come for me baby.” At that Taehyung completely breaks, muffling his loud, gasp into the curve of Jeongguk’s neck, breathing them out against his skin, splattering across Jeongguk’s chest in a mess of white.

That sight enough, the sound of him, the taste, the feel was enough for Jeongguk to come soon after with a sharp gasp, pleasure rippling across his stomach and breathed out into desperate moans and trails of Taehyung’s name. And Taehyung watches every second of it.

Afterwards, they fall together in a tangle of sticky limbs and warm kisses.

Taehyung turns to press a slight kiss against the corner of his mouth, a sated smile on his lips. “I think I love you. You scare me so much, but I think I love you.”

Jeongguk brushes a hand past his cheek. “I think I love you too.”

There’s silence for a while, content and soft. The hushed sound of rustling limbs, and the gentle cadence of their heartbeats. It’s Taehyung who talks first.

“I was so scared of belonging to someone you know.” Taehyung huffs a small laugh. “It’s easier being loved than to love. Hurts less too. And what I did, what this was- it never really meant to happen. I never planned to ever fall for you. “

And when Jeongguk doesn’t say anything, watching the rise and fall of Taehyung’s chest, holding onto every word, he continues. “This guy fucked me over. I loved too much, too hard and…”

“I’m sorry.” Jeongguk says, holding Taehyung close, lips grazing his hair.

"It's okay." Taehyung says and Jeongguk kisses him. 

When the night starts to turn into a lighter grey, the very barest peek of orange against the night; the kisses still, just for a second and Taehyung leans in to rest his head against Jeongguk's shoulder. 

“You know.” Taehyung huffs a laugh. “Love. It’s like lines of code that doesn’t make any fucking sense.” Taehyung says.  “It shouldn’t work at all, it’s an indecipherable mess. Somehow, just somehow it manages to work though. Weird huh.”

Jeongguk laughs. “You’re one hell of a coder then.”

“We’re one hell of a coder.” Taehyung corrects with a bright grin.

And in between cheap bedsheets, and sticky skin, lies two college boys who shouldn’t really matter at all. After all, there are lovers as bountiful as the stars in the universe. Why should they matter?

But in the stillness of the night, and the silence of the stars; what they created, the shaky lines of beautiful nonsensical code, matters to _them_ more than anything.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg i'm so goddamn emotional, i can't believe i finished this after 4 long and lazy months, (and at 3am in the morning) omg and if you read from start to finish you might notice somethings ahaha
> 
> but still just agsdashd i've grown so much as a writer writing this fic and just all the support and kind comments i got during it (over 200 kudos whaaaat??) thank you, thank you so much. and i'm proud of this, I really am. (I'm going to do a BIG ASS REVISION in the near future, especially in parts where i cringe too much) 
> 
> this started off as me going 'hey i love fuck buddy au's i'm going to write one. hm taekook seems like a good idea' and now months later it's over 20k words and way too many notes and planning and loving the characters. i'm glad, so glad i wrote it though because it was one hell of an adventure. 
> 
> if anyone wants to discuss this fic please message me at my writing blog bc srs, i barely discussed this with anyone?? 
> 
> anyways just THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND EXPECT A SHORT OT7 EPILOGUE TO BE WRITTEN SOON TO ROUND THIS ALL UP.


	7. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue

Dating Taehyung is different. Different in the sense that it's almost jarring how Taehyung flows seamlessly into his life. Jeongguk likes to think he's more like an octopus, clinging on no matter how hard he shakes.

They do go on a coffee date. The morning later when Taehyung decided to stop smothering Jeongguk with his limbs, and a lazy soft "5 more minutesss!" followed with insistent kisses along his shoulders. They only manage to make it out of the bed, when Jeongguk aims a kick at his stomach and Taehyung falls buck naked onto the floor in a mess of tangled limbs and a wild shriek of "Jeongguk!” At least it worked though.

Sitting at the coffee table, Taehyung's hair is a wild, fluffy mess, sticking out in spikes from under Jeongguk's beanie. In front of him is a large iced frappucino, topped with a glaring pile of whipped cream.

"That is not coffee." Jeongguk says, as Taehyung shoves a spoonful of whipped cream into his mouth.

"Sure it is!" Taehyung grins, lips smeared with white.

"It's _diabetes._ " Jeongguk sips his coffee, as Taehyung swipes another spoonful of whipped cream.

Taehyung sniffs, pouting as he puts his spoon down. "Coffee tastes like butt anyway."

Jeongguk's mouth falls open. "You're the one who asked me out for coffee in the first place!"

"That was an euphemism." Taehyung sniffs.

"How is coffee an _euphemism_?"

Taehyung grins, wide and white. "Well, It worked didn't it?"

"You're an idiot." Jeongguk sighs.

"But you love me anyways!" Taehyung sing songs, feet swinging as he licks the cream from his lips.

Jeongguk just rolls his eyes, kicking Taehyung in the shin. But he can't help but smile, despite himself. And later, when he leans in to press a kiss, Taehyung tastes sweet like cream and he finds he doesn't mind at all.

-

To be perfectly honest, Jeongguk doesn't really know what to expect with dating Taehyung. He didn't expect a lazy redhead nor an overexcited engineer to get tangled in this mix. It seems they find it perfectly fine to crash land into Jeongguk's life, and his dorm apparently. 

"You know I hate when you say that stuff when we're in public." Jeongguk grits out, scrabbling for the door. Taehyung merely grins, fingers fluttering to his hips, lips pressing slight feverish kisses against his neck.

"Oh but I like seeing you get all hot and bothered. It's cute."

Jeongguk grabs Taehyung by the wrist when the door is opened and drags Taehyung into the room, pressing him into the wall, hands scrabbling to his shoulders. Breath hot against his neck.

Taehyung looks way too amused for his own good, toying with the edge of Jeongguk's shirt. Teasing and lithe. "You know you like it." He teases.

And Taehyung's right. Taehyung's always right when it comes to melting Jeongguk into a hot mess in his hands, with his voice, with teasing huffs. And Jeongguk can take now, because he's his, and it only takes the short lean before he can break the distance, pouting lips, and warm skin and-

"Oh." Taehyung says, blinking past Jeongguk's shoulder. "Hi Yoongi."

Jeongguk flinches away from Taehyung, and slowly, very slowly turns around. His mouth falls open.

"Yo." Yoongi says with a wave of his hand, perched atop Jeongguk's bed.

"WHAT THE FUCK."

-

But there are days that Jeongguk is actually grateful for the flighty bundle of Taehyung that has decided to front flip into his life, with a string of people Jeongguk would probably not even glance at twice.  And they have what Hoseok fondly calls a little band of misfits.

And Jeongguk probably wouldn’t admit it between the exasperated rolling of his eyes, but right now, in the dim light of the TV, with everyone curled in the faded couches, are really some of the happiest times. Jimin, Hoseok and Yoongi are shoved together onto the couch, Jimin’s arms clutched protectively over the popcorn that is ten years away from him because as Jimin puts it: “You guys are going to be gross anyways. We’re lonely so we’re keeping the popcorn.”

“Hey, I have a girlfriend.” Yoongi had huffed but that’s beside the point.

On the other smaller couch, Namjoon snores softly, long fallen asleep after ten minutes of the movie, head lolling onto Seokjin’s shoulder; while Seokjin’s eyes are glued to the TV, making slight, excited jerks when something happens. Their legs are a tangle of limbs. You wouldn’t know where one started and which one ended.

Then there’s Taehyung and Jeongguk. Taehyung’s not watching the movie, Jeongguk can see him watching him out of the corner of his eyes. Eyes curved into slight crescents.

“Hey,” Taehyung says, dipping his face against Jeongguk’s shoulder.

“Hey yourself,” Jeongguk turns to grin at him, leaning in to peck a kiss.

“Stop being gross!” Jimin says around a gigantic mouthful of popcorn.

Taehyung merely pokes his tongue at Jimin before resting his head against the warmth of Jeongguk's shoulder, reaching down to tangle their fingers in a mess that was theirs. 

And it's then Jeongguk thinks that hey, maybe they could work out after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S FINALLY DONE. THIS EPILOGUE WAS SHORT BUT IT'S DONE  
> THAT chapter 7/7 is so satisfying you have no idea
> 
> *MIC DROP* IM OUT

**Author's Note:**

> [writing blog](http://maknaie.tumblr.com/) |


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